i've always believed that you reap what you sowed.

that's logical right?

if you're nice, people would treat you nice.

if you're mean, people would treat you mean too.

this is still logical, and still applies... only to theory.

i don't think i'm a mean person.
neither do i think i have been fake or too self centered.

so why am i being dealt with this?

that's right.

i am hardly able to sympathize with anyone anymore.

don't even try comparing me with those unfortunate people in the third world countries because i'm not there. i don't know them. they don't know me either. but the difference? they have the worldwide coverage, i don't. you think people would give a damn about what is going on in my life now? yes, only those few.

and it's only those few who would be there.

the rest of you? go think about it yourself.

i'm done with giving a damn about you people because you don't really care about me.

since you hardly bother to be there, don't expect me to give anything to you anymore.

i'm tired enough trying to mend my own heart.

i can't be bothered with you anymore.

in Oct, i found out something that changed my life 360 degrees.

i'm not exaggerating.

in the same month, before i even had the chance to take a breather,

my grandpa and grandma were in and out of the hospital one after another.

my brother went into the hospital too.

grandpa had a bad fall and needed stitches on his head.

he was diagnosed with tongue cancer there.

grandma had samonella poisoning.

brother fell down while on bike and broke his ankle.

and then he is diagnosed with some form of disorder there.

when grandpa could be discharged, grandma was discharged.

when grandma was discharged, grandpa was admitted again.

for almost 2 months, i had to go through this.

and my other grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer.

before i had a chance to take a break from all these in the month of december,

i had a fall a week back.

my knees have been injured and has got worse from the constant kneeling every night.

my parents only found out about it a few days later.

i sprained my ankle.

my parents never knew it.

my grandparents passed away.

one after another,

in two days.

grandma passed away on fri night.

grandpa passed away on sun morning.

i cry almost every day, but so what?

i'm so bitter with life now.

today is the day of cremation of grandma, and i am not allowed to send her off because you are not allowed to go to two funerals.

that's right.

try being me.

#241

Aaron: HAHA there! updated!

ONE MONTH OF NO BLOGGING.

oh man.

i survived it. HAHA

finally common tests are over!

*pops champagne*

actually its maddening when i try to blog now cos i can't rmb what i did alrd ):

20 November 2010

yay! brought the japanese interns ard Bugis today

haha i feel so suaku bringing them around because i am exploring as I bring them around.

we had to use google maps to locate arab street and i saw haji lane!

wah i feel v accomplished :D

COS FOR ONCE IM THE ONE LEADING THE WAY!!!

hahahhahaahahahah.

okay whatever, i'm not going to listen to anyone who suans me.

22 November 2010

went to find ashley at NTU to study cos i have e learning week

and while studying we were muching on food.

:D

i like NTU.

nono i love NTU

LOL!

it's so freaking big that i think i would get lost even after studying there for like 10 years.

24 November 2010

i went to bishan lib today.

very moody.

really miss the peace.

25 November 2010

went PC fair with sis!

and then we went to find yijun at work for lunch cos her workplace is near expo.

(im so niceeeeeeeeeee)

then i went to promenade with sis cos she need go work.

from there i went home! :D

(haha and my sister felt like the older of both of us, cos she told me to call her if i lost my way)

*TOUCHED!*

dinner with dad and mom at some buffet restaurant.

the food is v nice! :D

but its an exp place. hoho

26 November 2010

with a very happy stomach and feeling, i went for my bcomm interview

HAHA.

oh but it was crazy.

i was mad nervous.

HAHA

str after the interview, when the teacher told me to sit beside her so she could go thru my stuffs,

MY FACE TURNED RED.

oh gosh.

i bet she thinks i'm hilarious.

LOL.

homed after that! :D

27 November 2010

went all the way to dover with yijun for LY's event

took photos and Polaroid there!

bought alot of stuffs and drinks.

(yet to upload oops)

i'll do everything by latest tmr.

PROMISE!

:D

and then went to PC fair to get my netbook and sis's camera.

my moolahhh.

okay let it fly away.

AND THERE WAS A FLEA MARKET THERE.

omgoodness.

they sold the card that i think is damn nice and cool and lalalallalala (Y) la!

LOL

then we cabbed to

02 December 2010

LY's birthday today!

i'm a professional liar i think.

she believed me like totally.

haha when i think back at those lies.

i dk how i thought of them gosh.

05 December 2010

stand chart marathon as volunteer!

im gonna join as participant next time,

and have people serving me water.

LOL!

we went to report at 1 am.

collect our stuff and all alrd,

then waited ard and slacked till 4 plus am 5?

LOL

then busy awhile jiu pack up alrd.

WE ENDED AT LIKE 8AM LA.

but logistics caused us to only end at 10.

and then i went home,

shower,

and study my JLPT.

no its really cui.

i was damn cui when i went for my test at 2 plus.

I DOZED OFF WHILE DOING MY TEST.

that's how epic i was.

so tired):

and when i got home i started to do my CCM individual assignment

im going mad.

LOL.

11 December 2010

had LM common test

and for some reason i was zi highing at the bus stop.

LOL

went to find yijun after my common test

went to her hse and ATTEMPTED to study for IF while she baked cookies.

hahaha its damn funnnnny!

12 December 2010

clarke quay to study!

(L) liang court!

and i went to buy a pudding to eat.

yummmmmmy

but i still like cup walker's best.

:D

13 December 2010

IF common test today!

i felt v not prepared ):

went to sign up for driving str after that.

ahhh its so scary going there alone.

I FEEL SO BRAVE

its the bravest thing i have/will do in 2010.

LOL.

blood donation is #1 on my list for 2011's must do!

I SHALL OVERCOME MY FEAR OF NEEDLES TO SAVE THREE LIVES.

went to find girls at far east.

oh gosh.

someone please invent a microchip that is preinstalled with maps to insert into brains

i'll buy it.

LOL.

i walked to taka and realized i am walking in wrong direction and walk back.

so i didnt eat dinner cos i arrived late.

(overslept)

OH GOSH I HAVE TO START SLEEPING MY DAYS AWAYYYY

#240

Xiaopei: who are you ah. impersonator!
Aaron: i think the songs are nice can! what noisy!

shit lah i keep listening to taylor swift's songs.

not that its bad, but on repeat!?

and this singer from thailand called sabrina is not bad too.

i want blog blog blog!

got the feel come back alrd.

hahaha!

13 November 2010

movie marathon with mad people!

due date with yj and zy

then we went to find ly and yt cos unstoppable starts at 7plus.

(FIRST TIME I GO IMM)

and while we were waiting for free shuttle bus there,

we saw a bus catered for a wedding one.

WAH DAMN COOL CAN.

but why bus.

LOL.

whatever, its not my wedding anw.

hahaha!

unstoppable with ly and yj

the movies were nice leh.

i liked due date cos it was super hilarious!

and i liked unstoppable cos the whole movie was thrill after thrill.

homed!

14 November 2010

chinatownnn todayyyy

WEEEEE~~

supposed to look for those travel agencies to find out more about Taiwan.

the stores were closed.

LOL

so we just walked around some weird place.

but i like that place.

HAHA!

i like CHINATOWN.

then we went to eat the nice nice nice porridge near outram park station.

super nice.

:D

i want go eat porridge again hahaha!

15 November 2010

school end then homed.

LOL

16 November 2010

school ended at only 6pm!

omgod.

then i went to Jurong Point to find ashley!

we ate budget food at the kopitiam and walked aimlessly as usual.

cos we talk rubbish while walking.

HAHHA

jurong point alrd has christmas decorations le!

jurong point is so big.

we try so hard to find the ATM but we couldn't find it.

in the end.

its at FAIRPRICE.

walao.

epic.

we alrd gave up finding then it appeared.

hahaha!

17 November 2010

heh heh.

WO MEN TODAY GO EAT CJ BUFFET!

ahhhhhhhhh i super xiang nian my kimchi pancake

and and and all the food that i miss.

LOL.

i swear im not gg to sit outside if we ever go there and eat again.

so unfair.

everyone's gonna think that im the one that eats all the nan gua bing!

when its that yj and zy who is the one eating all the nan gua bing.

(yj i fair to you okay.)

ZY EAT THE MOST NAN GUA BING!

and eat very silently somemore

we look away then look back and its GONE alrd.

*u see the chopstick at the bottom of the picture. is ZY trying to steal the nan gua bing again!

and i went to jog after going home frm AMK! :D

18 November 2010

No school today,

but i went to the hospital today.

visited both grandpa and grandma.

i feel so sad when i see grandpa.

his hands are wrapped in gloves cos he has the tendency to pull out the tubes subconsciously.

he looks so lifeless.

so heart wrenching to see it.

to think that that basket son actl didn't want to admit him in.

condition alrd so critical alrd.

slap his face!

grandma said smth that made me feel like crying.

shan't post it here though.

forced my sis to queue at popeyes with me cos i wanted to eat their biscuit.

:D

went jogging with sis (finally she said she wanna go jogging!)

when i was walking back my legs were in pain,

i almost couldn't walk properly.

):

how can this happen to me ):

19 November 2010

okay that's todayyyy!

ended school at 11am cos i decided to skip lecture to come home earlier to take a rest,

and get started on Jap.

that's right. i took a rest but Jap hasn't been touched yet omt.

stupid me.

):

supposed to go with mum to the maid agency today too.

but she is too lazy to go.

=.=

oh man i dont want a maid to stay in the house.

it freaks me out!

what if i wake up and suddenly she is staring at me!?

okay STOP scaring myself.

and no, you were never there when i needed you,

so dont come around now,

i really dont need you.

so, get lost.

#239

hoho!

ages since i came over here to blog (:

MY TWITTER AND HANDPHONE IS REALLY WEIRD.

i can't sign in twitter and my phone cannot send out SMSes.

(Y) ):

school is really hectic.

actl not hectic.

just a drag.

i just keep wanting to go home and sleep.

gosh.

i mustn't do this anymore.

):

i'm super happy now because i am going for a movie marathon today!

:D

nvm escape can wait (for another few weeks? ): )

boooooooooooooooo

but i want to go watch movieeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

okay i should stop whining.

it's irritating even me.

and shall go over to IMM from causeway point to go help LY and YT do survey :D

then they can get 3 bucks! :))

yayyy!

(my only off day)

i shall only drop back to earth tmrw.

btw, happy birthday to you.

stay happy ^^

blahhhh.

i think i have such a tiring draining life.

but hey, i dont go around telling the whole world about this because i really don't want sympathy.

though i do hope that you people would stop hoping for me to keep giving and giving, because this is just what i find myself no longer capable of doing.

okay i digressed alrd.

what i wanted to do was to write a letter to someone, someone whom i really am unable to see eye to eye with.

*in case any of you come back 4-6 years down the road later to 'settle scores', i'll just make it clear now that if you think i am referring to you, then it's you. and i gather you should self reflect rather than coming back to settle these kind of scores because if a person like me can only see the bad side of you, it means you are really pretty bad and don't have much good points.*

oh, and btw, come to me directly if you wanna know the truth, don't go to my parents. so downright embarrassing for yourself.

**disclaimer: read this with an objective view

i've never liked you much after all those stories that i heard about you since i was young. seriously, who would like a person who did black magic on his own family members, not even letting off young children of 4-6 years of age? who would like a person whose kids were such bullies and went around pinching us each time they saw us, leaving us blue blacks? but still, i tell myself to take these comments about you with a pinch of salt. they were stories that were already over, and i can't remember anything about it. those were your kids, since they are unable to behave, i guess they are just too wild. i give you the respect whenever i see you, but to the bare minimum.

i've seldom seen you around, probably because you were never around fulfilling your responsibilities. if you were, i would have definitely heard about you once or twice. and i quote from someone dear to me, "when your parents were well and healthy, u took off, running away from your responsibilities." you left the responsibilities to someone else, and now what are you back for?

what do you have to say about yourself? as much as i would still like to think of you as an okay person, i'm sorry to say that i can't bring myself to.

your mother was down with stomach flu and what were you doing? sitting in the hall the whole day, watching television. are you sure that you are able to take care of her when she goes over to where you are at when she is older?

your father was lying on the hospital bed, looking very frail, and what did you do? took your own sweet time to get to the ward, and when you were there, u went to every other person's bed instead of your own dad's and continued talking to others. when you finally came over you actually said that he looked better? were you actually around during the family meetings when they were mentioning that he is very depressed and wanted the doctor to end his life if he couldn't undergo the operation or were you fantasizing about the amount of money you were going to receive?

i don't see how your supplements are going to save his life. if you don't have money (which you do since you are always claiming you have 2324525234 maids at home) then u put in the effort. but you do nothing and hope to receive everything.

hi, but get back down to earth.

you're so great with your words and i think its very clear to everyone, including bystanders, what kind of person you are. every action that you took which i saw with my own eyes and heard with my own ears just made me feel that you are out to fight for that one thing.

you're not a good person at all. downright to the bones. don't talk about seniority and respect whenever the topic comes in because you have done nothing and deserve the same in return. you reap what you sow, sir. and the amount of great things you have done for those orphans over there are really not enough to make up for the bad karma that you have accumulated towards your own family.

so long,

SA

from: karma awaits you.

#238

23 October

visited grandpa in the hospital today.

so very sad ):

his fall is real bad,

and i'm actually very worried that he won't pull through the possible operation tmrw

gosh i really hope he can pull it through.

24 October

visited grandma,

went to compass point with her cos she wanted to get a wheelchair.

then homed while rest of family went out for dinner~

left house at 7 plus to take bus to lavender to meet yj and zy for dinner.

yay i finally ate my happy chef again! :D

happpppyyyyy happpppyyyyyy! ((:

happy chef makes me happy.

hahaha!

okay and then we went homeeeeeee

#237

going to make a superb attempt to blog whatever happened.
(going to be very hard.)
*looks at last update*
okay forget it.
i just blog whatever i can remember.
LOL.

i need the pity as my brains are kind of malfunctioning.

thank god i have a planner, though i seldom update hahaha!

03 October

chomp chomp before going to KBox today! ((:

i missed my 136 and had to take bus to train to serangoon int.

as usual zy scare me and yj is there laughing.

LOL.

then all of us walked out (when we could take the bus from int) to take bus.

waited super long for the bus then we waited super long for a seat.

HOHO.

i like the chicken wings.

but i still cannot find my cup walker pudding.

did it disappear or smth?

now i'm so sad.

to date i haven't found that cup walker pudding!

):

okay then we cabbed to go sing K at hougang while zy went off to teach his cousin.

04 October

work and then trained to JP to meet ashley for movie!

WE WERE DAMN EPIC KAY.

ashley bought snacks for her hostel,

then we had to smuggle that into the cinema,

even though we were not gg to eat it,

HAHAHA EPIC

we watched 'the other guys'

i think its a freaking funny movie i just kept laughing.

LOL!

then we went to walk around before i headed home.

when i was walking home from heartland mall,

i swear i noticed someone familiar at the bus stop.

*TA-DAH!*

it was EC hahahaha.

weeeeeeeeee~

very happy. hahahah!

08 October

chomp chomp again with yj!

determined to find my pudding.

but failed again

(though we lied to zy and said we found the legendary pudding while he ate his half priced sushi)

met my cousin when we were alrd going to finish our food.

haha!

then they sat beside us haha!

went on to fairprice after that to buy fruits.

and then homeeee~

09 October

accompanied mom out to town to collect stuff, etc.

ate at dtf. (:

MY XIAOLONGBAOOOO~

walked all the way to far east plaza there to take 132 home

cos she has a free bus ride.

wth right.

tsk.

homed to bake cookies!

10 October

Family dinner before heading off to orchard to meet aq, yj and zy for KBox.

HOHO.

i was super late because i left dinner late.

hahaha.

and then after K we walked to the bus stop so that aq can take bus and we went homeeee~

13 October

super impromptu KBox session at Downtown East.

HAHAHA.

and yj late again cos she can't leave work on time.

so met zy first and we went to buy sushi and cup walker to smuggle in.

(damn epic cos i did the same thing the other time round lol!)

16 October

Bugis TopOne KTV from 11am to 6pm.

hosei.

yj late cos she go home take phone.

then met zy first and we go fairprice to buy the super big hello panda and chips.

i still rmb hello panda price to date leh.

it's 5.80

OKAY RANDOM.

then cos its 11 we go in first.

wahhh the cigarette smell seriously dk come from where,

but then after that like disappear lol.

after that we went to walk around at illuma.

*feel like buying a watch suddenly hahaha*

17 October

work half day,

then met mom after work cos she want to collect some stuff at centrepoint~

went to buy straws before going home.

GOSH THE STRAWS NO MATTER HOW MANY I FOLD STILL SAME LEVEL ):

18 October

met yj at whitesands for dinner.

at first we said eat Mad Jack but we were all not hungry,

so we ended up going to Xin Wang to have dim sum.

LOL.

then halfway zy and yl came to find us,

but we were still eating so they go cut hair first.

then we finished go find them,

shortwhile later LY came to find us.

then we cab there LOL cos we though no more shuttle bus to aloha loyang.

i miss that place actl.

remind me of sec 1 class haha

KCC chalet.

supposed to drop by then end up staying till 2 plus am.

reached home at 3am,

*couldn't sleep wth!*

ended up sleeping only at about 4am.

*and its cos i went to sofa to sleep okay!*

(think i got jian ming, LOL)

but i seriously think the sofa is damn hell of a good to sleep onnnnnnn

19 October

went to raffles city to collect my pay!

then i headed home.

wanted to go jogging buy MP3 FLAT.

then go home charge abit want go jogging before meeting dada and has!

but dozed off.

booooo.

THANK GOD people SMSed me.

omg.

hahahha.

for the first time im not angry for being awoken,

LOL!

went to have KFC before going to walk around and then have dessert at kopitiam.

then homed (:

21 October

Queenstown Ikea with Yul!

hehe.

then went to hgm to find has for dessert.

trained to pioneer to find zx to get photocopy IC.

trained home!

sounds like super little things but i was out for the whole day!

hahaha,

i love train rides :D

22 October

worked half day

*super feel like quitting now,

cos uniform super ugly and i bth some people there*

met ZX and his gf to collect her photocopy IC

met SM at novena to pass her all the photocopy IC

she told me to wait with her for her boyf.

her boyf took a long time to get there.

and then i faster cab to expo cos it was 4.30 and i supposed to meet zy at 4.30.

omg right,

and when i was on the cab,

the uncle kept talking to me about computers.

and internet

and those videos.

omg.

i actl think he is very funny.

LOL!

and after that went to walk around in the expo and finally bought my mouse

weeeee~

my mouse is white and i think its super cute and its good to use too.

HAHAHA!

trained to tampines to meet yj

then three of us went to IKEA again

:D

had dinner and walked around.

(iwantikeafurnitureeeeeee)

oh, i seriously need a netbook.

please return me my money u idiots.

You Are Eloquent

You are a warm, open, and talkative person. You express yourself well. You say whatever is on your mind, but you say it with class and grace. You are passionate and persuasive. You have a lot of opinions, and you tend to convince other people you're right. You enjoy spirited debate, and you believe in the power of works. You are a lucid thinker and a vivid speaker.

The Argyle Test

Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes and 3 Stupid Ones

gahhhh.

didn't want to post initially but i just cannot fight the temptation when i feel that i have nothing to do.

sometimes i wonder why do i have to make my life sound so miserable.

do i get the satisfaction out of pity from others or do i just like the fact that my life is not happy?

this is so sick.

i don't get it these days.

Why on earth do i choose to be upset and unhappy, dwelling on those things that are already over for such a long time when i can choose to be happy and accept everything else coming into my life.

it sounds silly reprimanding myself but i seriously don't get it.

I can't stand the fact that people like me keep using their brains to think about those dumb and negative stuff when they can look on the other side and be happy.

WHAT'S WITH COMPETITION ON WHO IS LEADING A SADDER LIFE?

wtf?

like seriously.

i think my life is happy.

so there!

#236

i just came back from jogging.

whoosh.

feel kind of better after the 3.2K,

but the sharp pain in my legs came back.

seriously what's wrong with me...

i think that's like the only thing that i did today apart from working, lolllllllllll

up till now,

i still can't believe that i forgot about release of results.

LOL.

and that's tomorrrowwww.

i not qi dai at all sia.

am i weird or what.

oh gosh.

i want to eat MAC BREAKFAST LEH

#235

27 September

today felt so quiet.

i can't actually remember what happened today.

OHH.

went jogging with joyce after work today.

we went to the stadium and run about 5 rounds.

lol she wanted to walk the 5th round but the bell ring so i said RUN.

ahhahaha.

28 September

met yijun at void deck.

she was teaching Joanne while I was continuing on my own work.

then i finished that bit,

so i was folding stars.

bought dinner from my fav western food stall (in tat whole coffee shop)

LOL.

*anybody on for the nice western food down at lavendar?*

29 September

work was very upsetting today cos i just couldn't seem to get anything right.

super demoralized.

i felt like i was getting paid for doing things wrong or smth.

went to find yijun at Pasir Ris after work.

we went to sing K.

super impromptuuuu.

actl wanted to go watch some movie

but the timing is like omt lousyyyy.

so we ended up at KBox.

homed after that~

walked home from hougang mall. lol.

pasar malam was still open lah omt.

idk if it's the songs playing or what,

i had a super strong urge to jog/run home.

but of course i didn't!

and idk what's wrong with me.

the two sides of my stomach or smth is in pain.

PS its only been 2 days but i really miss jogging all of the sudden.

PPS i'm feeling very sad, and i hate this feeling. can i like just forget about all this and be happy again? ):

tag replies only (:

who thee: Weeeeeeeee yes yes yes, eh any chance we can get discount for USS :D hahhaa!
yijun: i like go away. u where not happy. i ask u to get one, also never call u a despo! I DIDNT TALK ABT MWS ALRD! mws disappear alrd!
SIYUN: Lol. ya, where u die to huh. LOL. oh ya the 10 dollars! faster qian money pay money! LOL
yu loon: which part happening? LOL. OMG I ACTL GOT IT WRONG LOL ME. hahahaha

It's getting harder and harder to go home with a smile on my face.

i would take the longer route on my way back home.

i would take the lift that is further away from the first floor.

i would open the letterbox even if i feel that it's already been opened.

i would drag my feet and walk slowly.

what happened to the happiness and joy of returning home?

randommm

Go away's nice.

i am super addicted to the chorus i dk why.

i think i'm very weird.

i am actually addicted to the feeling that i get when i jog and the wind comes to my face.

(really like when you walk also got wind)

hahahaha

and i like to jog and nod my head/ move my hand according to the beat of the song.

i'm so weird omg!

#234

just an update before getting back to my work again!

haven't been posting a lot here lately.

not that my life is not happening or what.

LOL,

i'm just lazy.

and i also found other mediums to get rid of whatever i am thinking of.

18 Sep all the way to 25th September.

omg...

18 September 2010

oh yes, we went for a budget outing on this day. however, some woman epic fail on staying ON BUDGET lah. maybe a budget outing needs a plan. like a business plan. i think i should get started on it. so that i can execute my budget outing plan one day. teeheee. then in the plan i should include the dress code, the exact schedule, and blah blah blah. omgosh talking about this actually makes me feel excited what the hell!

19 September 2010

worked half shift at CJ before going home for family dinner at clarke quay. i rmb i super hate that day. dinner's not bad lah, got sharks fin hehe. then the waitress damn epic. tell her dont take away cover she go take away my stove. ): RAR!

20 September

work (dk if i went jogging. hmmm)

21 September

work, but went to meet yijun at hougang mall to shop for her mug. LOL. had dinner too~~

22 September

beloved cousin's birthday! oh man i miss her. every time this happens i think about why i rejected the offer to Australia. so darn irritating of myself. but then.. aiyo i miss my cousin lah! i actually can't wait to fly over to Australia. Any rich friends for company? ((:

met ashley down at jurong point for dinner. omg she celebrated my bday there. okay im super surprised de lor. because i never expected it. then i saw a cake box but i thought she was buying it for her breakfast. she still lied to me and say that she later want to order cake, ask them to leave the menu there. i totally got cheated. LOL. and then i went off home to celebrate my mooncake festival. LOL.

23 September

work again. went jogging?

24 September

work also. met poly year 1 clique for dinner at pasta de waraku at heeren. super long didnt see them! kind of miss them and the random outings that we used to have! went home after dinner cos i had to complete my work.

25 September

oh this update's fast. i'm at 25 Sep alrd! :D met poly clique at vivo city for 'picnic' took quite alot of funny pictures? LOL

damn im tired alrd.

LOL

#233

just changed my blogskin.

i swear its tiring.

since i sat on this super not comfy chair about 1 and a half hours ago,

i've been editing this skin.

LOL.

okay maybe i might have been distracted abit.

hehe.

That's not the pointtttt.

okay my point is here.

today's my birthday! (:

yeah i have yet to thank everyone on facebook yet.

then there's the silent contributors to my birthday too.

and there's the noisy ones too of course.

haha!

seriously how do i start.

i know you all are dying to see ur names appear.

LOL.

shall keep the suspense longer by crapping.

hey like this i get a longer blog post okay!

i'm cranky alrd.

i'll thank the facebook people on facebook,

and i'll thank the silent and noisy contributors here zokay!

i go by alphabeted group, and then alphabet lah hor, easier. (: okay i dun think u get what i mean. lol.

Ashley: woman, i know you hate the fact that you seem to always find out about what's going on through my head in my blog. dui bu qi. ): but want me to pick up the phone and send one super long sms on how sad i am i just somehow can't do it.. i digressed alrd. lol.

very gan dong with the mini celebration on zhong qiu jie, it really cheered me up (: the present that you buy for me is buy from someone who need help de, idk why i hear alrd feel happy. haha! i read ur super long letter present to me liao. i get what u mean, and alot of those stuffs was what i think is true. haha!

anw, although i know u for about 2 years?, i think we only got close since late last last year? haha. i still rmb i first saw u during a wed morning shift leh. (if i rmb correctly) LOL. i dk why i didnt have sch. but ya. then after that i seldom saw u, and then all of a sudden u were celebrating my birthday with my year1 poly clique and joyce plus yijun and my family. then we decorated AMK's outlet tgther with ric, celebrated ur birthday and many others, went out together to eat, shop, etc etc. i guess its been a long way? haha. i cherish u as my (beloved) friend, even though u are now at the other part of singapore. SO FAR AWAY. nvm when sch reopens i can go find u easier haha! (:

Yuloon: Mummmyy, haha when i read ur letter it really felt like my mother was writing a letter to me! i'm totally surprised when my mum came home with a super thick envelope. i thought a secret admirer mailed me a love letter! haha JOKING ok. i've been so busy and LAZY that i just didn't make an effort to meet up with you, causing u to have to mail me my present ): but i'm super touched that you still mailed me the present, if it was me i think i would just tear up the letter and use the notebook for myself ):

when i read ur letter i actually felt like i was a really great person, u praised me up to the skies alrd. what if i fall down? haha, but i'm appreciative of what you did! ((:

i've known u since orientation camp? and the moment u passed me the letter at the end of orientation camp, i dk why, but i just felt that u are a friend for the keeps (: we've been more of a moral support to each other? hardly talking to one another in real life but staying in touch online or through SMSes, ranting to each other, etc. nevertheless, u are a great friend, and do tell me when anything big (small also can) happens in ur life zokay! ((:

Haslinda: OMG you sickooo! u actl came to my house from hougang ave 8 just to celebrate my birthday at 12AM. (and i didnt even realize that u guys came into my house oops) haha, i'm really grateful to you for this, and also very touched by the cake that you and joyce made for me! (: omg, haha, i dont have the pictures, but please dont post them up onto facebook or twitter omggosh!

my first impression of u was when we were both reporting to school with our parents (i forgot for what) but we were in the hall. and u were sitting diagonally across me. omg u, u sat like a gangster can, and ur mum was like scolding u for that. yes i still rmb it to this day. LOL. it's so funny how one person can have such a sweet smile but is super sadistic on the inside. omg. i rmb always getting hit and pinched by you ): poor poor me. we seldom get to meet up, but im thankful that i started using twitter, then we both get updated with each other's going ons. every time i need a baking buddy, i think i just need to find u, haha. always on one! and thanks for the cakeee again! (u're always baking cakes for my birthday! hahaha)

Huda: why do u have attachment!! u shld like get MC! haha, actl i'm super touched by ur SMS today. it was so timely. i was feeling sad at that point of time that when i saw ur msg, i was so touched that i felt like crying!

suddenly i rmb how we were in the same class but were not close till sec 3 when we both we dumped into 3E2. everyone was so unfamiliar to us that we could only cling on to each other! i think that's not a bad deal. haha! then we would go out together after school to compass point, comics connection (really crazy over our idols lol! okay maybe its just me haha), buying blueberry waffle after that, and me making stupid contented noises, walking over to the rivervale plaza bus stop and me making my face at u whenever ur bus came first. studying for O's together in sec 4, going out tgther randomly to watch shows or eat dinner. haha! i'm really glad that i made such an independent friend like you. somehow i do get influenced and i myself started becoming more independent and strong ((: STAY STRONG AND HAPPY okay!

Joyce: u're another epic one. seriously, i know we stay very near but lol. why do u and haslinda always come find me when i just woke up or when i am about to sleep? lol. then im super cui. still take the photos. omg. touched and grateful that u and haslinda baked the cake for me since 10am in the morn, and super surprised that its a success! okay im damn bad. haha, but ya, touched okay!

i still rmb how the short one year of same classmates brought us to what we are today. now that i think about it, our class was kinda havoc? haha. i still rmb how funny it is that you could call me at the end of the class but i wouldnt hear it. junxi would hear it instead. when he is further away. i guess as friends we do have our fair share of ups and downs. we just stopped talking for like one plus year in sec 3? and then we were suddenly preparing for o levels together with huda, etc. its funny how mac never chased us out when we occupied their 'best' seats and bought in sweettalk drinks to drink now that i come to think of it. our group always does the weirdest things. anw, i'm thankful that i got to know you, (:

actl i was in a super bad mood today, because i had to ownself call the dinner place and book dinner, buy my own cake and prepare the candles on my own at home. omw to somerset to meet u guys (i didnt know who's coming, only know is a big group lol.) i was really contemplating to just say im sick and then go some weird and random place to spend the day alone. seriously, the whole journey i was thinking of places and excuses. i even thought about going to the playground that i always go to when im sad, punggol park and SPCA la. okay but i dk where SPCA is and the rest are too near my hseeee. lol. throughout the whole journey i kept playing sad songs can. and when i finally played one happy song when i reach somerset, i almost cried lah. i think that's why i didnt see the big group of u. oops. but then, i'm glad that i didnt back out in the end and that you guys came to celebrate my birthday ((: XIE XIE NI MEN! (scroll down for individual name!)

i'll make an exception for this group okay, cos yijun plan majority of the thing, her name should be on top!

Yijun: go get a boyfriend lah you. okay no link. btw, i'm still younger than you, like at least 3 months. thank you for planning this birthday celebration for me, even though u keep saying it fail, etc. and keep apologizing. gosh, DONT APOLOGIZE ALRD. i really will get angry one! even though ur art (according to u) is epic fail, but then i'm still touched by the fact that you and my sister went over to compass point to decorate my cake, and the scrap book that you made for me. ohh, and the present that you and my sister bought. through the questioning and u all ownself give hints. i alrd knw what u were planning in mind. but yea, i shant say much. lol. anw ty. (:

i never talked to u even though we were in the same tuition class for like idk how long. our friendship maintained as sending songs over to one another until one day u came to class, and u suddenly cried. i asked wj what happened and she told me that u met with some friendship problems. then we just started talking from there. i still rmb how we three walked from hougang mall to rivervale plaza for tuition. then u two kept forcing me to sing ai mei but i just DIE DIE wont sing. LOL. funny how we both go sing K now. lolll

Sister: I'm not ur ATM! )): i think as sisters, we have come a super long way. i still remember how you told me you hated me and my very existence): but now we are like good friends who can go out together with each other friends at times? u're sensible in your own way now, and i know that i dont have to worry so much about you anymore. u're heading towards the last hurdle to ur O's alrd before u start having the fun that i had (for a short while), jiayou okay! my memory epic fail, and i can only help u in ur studies to a super small extent ): btw u should stop bullying me and go find a boyfriend!

Janice: now i know whats with the "SMS me okay" that you were saying yesterday. LOL. thanks for coming, and its funny how we didnt really get to talk so much last time but recent outings we can just keep talking and talking non stop without even realizing that time has passed very fast. haha! u should just come out with us more often! LOL!

my first impression of u was that u are super quiet lah! but then... how i know u are not. LOL. we were suddenly friends who were in each other's classes for the next few sems, (ya we choose one, but still!) u're not only a good project mate, u're also a good friend. glad to make a friend like you in NP, and i really hope that we'll continue to be friends even after graduation!! (:

LY: friend made in SHANGHAI. omgosh. haha. we were in the same class for like one sem but didnt really talk cos of ur first impression of me and cos of my then dont want to know anyone cos they are all making use of me thinking. LOL. and then we suddenly became close when we went to shanghai and did projects together, and came back and did MORE projects together. LOL. i think if i've never opened my mouth and asked if we can group tgther in shanghai, we might not be as close as we are now. haha! grateful for u as a friend, through our random outings, jogging sessions, funny activities like escape and KCC camp, etcetcetc. i still remember how both of us can just stay in school in canteen 2 till 8 plus to study, our h2h talks at really random places. and the super cold Emerald room in School lib was like always the room we book to studyyyy (and C**). HAHA. and yeap, "Remember. Us." (:

SiYun: omg u gay. LOL. u shld like tell ur tuition kid u are busy today! haha, i still remember how you added me on MSN then we started talking from there. and when u told me ur name i just kept wondering how come i dont remember a girl of this name. then i realized u are a guy. LOL. and then we started having group convers with MSN gang, and come up with the funniest things like (S)(*) and our MSN nicks. LOL. actl u thought me quite a lot of stuffs along the way. dk how to explain it but ya, u did! like how i can be in a bad mood, and u just seem to realize it that time, (i think is cos u read my blog lol) and i rmb how we can both be epic fail, forget to bring wallet to school (on the same day somemore) and we can take the same bus but not realize it until i'm alrd about to alight. LOL. why we both so blur. i dont understand. HAHA! actl i'm surprised how we dont see each other but are still able to keep in contact! but still, really glad that i made a friend like you. (: and u stupid pig always use me as entertainer!

SweeMun: sweee moooo ah. actl i seldom meet up with u! and i think its only this sem that i saw u more often cos we were in the same class. LOL! although u always call me elizabird, and even told ur friends to call me that (oh my how can u be so mean ):!) ur jap is good, pass me some of that talent lehhhhh. anw, really happy to know u as a friend, even though we seldom talk and dont even have h2h talks, lol.

WenYi: haha, i miss our random outings. LOL. u get what i mean right. hahaha! thanks for being there for me whenever i talk to u about stuffs. (': sometimes all i want to do is to let it out, and there is you!! ((: hehe. i remember how you sat beside me during stats class, and then we would chiong the tutorial out without the help of ahem. i actl miss the time when we went to study together throughout the night at serangoon mac. we were at a super strategic location where i can watch soccer. LOL. then we chionged IEF tgther. haha! and how we would queue up for KOI together and then go sing K together. hahah! although u are weird (how can one be a barbie and a pig at the same time!), but i'm still happy u are my friend!

YokeTeng: we were in the same class for one sem but hardly talked to each other. its only when we(LY and meee) came back from shanghai that our cliques 'merged' and we started talking and studying together after class, even though we were from different classes alrd. hha! i guess all of us think alot huh, and i think i can say that you and i suffered the same fate under Paul's horrible treatment. ): i like the fact that our groups still make an effort to meet up even though we are alrd in different specializations and sometimes our timings clash. (: i know sometimes u go through some stuff but dont say out, only write in ur blog. (abit like me haha) but nvm, i'll STALK ur blog. haha(: hen happy knowing you cos u are a nice friend, though u always steal my stitch keychain! (kidnap it home once somemore!)

ZhengYao: another OG friend. but then i didn't talk to you until shanghai and after that? LOL. its damn funny. i think we super got yuan cos we seem to join the same random things like NDP and shanghai (though we also never talk there) is it like thank god u ask to borrow IEF notes from me with zhixian? lol. i think you're a good friend, one that anyone can talk to for hours. maybe cos u are so lame and random. LOL. is this good or bad ah. its like although we know each other for a short period of time but we are able to go out like that and just keep talking (of course some conversations have content some is lalala just crapping) like we are super old friends like that. haha! until now im still thinking its so funny that 3 yrs ago we didnt talk at all and now we are like going out tgther for Kbox, CJ buffet, and ESCAPE! actl im kind of grateful that we started talking, if not i would miss out a good friend like you! i think though u like to have fun, but when people are not in a good mood or are feeling sad, u would listen and give funny but true replies. lol, so xie xie niii(:

CJ people like dont read my blog one. so i just thank in general here can. heh.. Even though u guys wont read this, but ya, Super gan xie u all for treating us so nice today, *touched* discount voucher, minus away one person. had to make drinks for us, and even had to come serve us (very ps) people i want to thank are (according to the book): Yu Li, Moon, Joycelin, Jun Dong, Zhu Ying, Yumi, Wei Li, Ah Wei, Qiu Yi, Cheng Yong. i guess i haven't really taken you guys as friends yet, maybe i don't know how, or maybe i just didn't put in the effort. F&B somehow just tells me that the people will leave anytime. maybe that's why i prefer keeping a distance? but i really cherish u guys, (in a quiet way la) and won't forget u all!

and now for friends that i haven talked to in a long while: weishen, wanjing, terence. actually i am not sure what i am supposed to say here, because i really haven been talking to u all for such a long time, but i am super touched that you guys still remember me. LOL. i know it sounds weird. but ya, gan xie ni men!

i was reading through past blog posts and realized the existence of this! bo liao de me started to do. the first one i didn't post. it was epic okay. i tio shock. LOL. u can ask me, but i'll decide if i wanna tell u. the quiz was on what is the name of you ideal lover or smth along that line. EPIC.

You Should Be With a Fire Sign

Your best match is an Aries, Leo, or Sagittarius You like a partner who's intense and even a little dominating. You want to be seduced. There's nothing you like better than someone being completely and totally into you. You are not an easy one to catch, so you need a bold partner who is up to the challenge.

What Sign Should You Be With?

Blogthings: If Quizzes Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Take Quizzes

You Are Peaceful

Your positive traits: You are open minded enough to date outside your typical "type" ... successfully! You are diplomatic - and likely to end a fight instead of dragging things out. You are easily loyal and faithful, but only for the right person. Your negative traits: You're a bit gullible, and partners take advantage of you. You still may not know it. You find it difficult to decide where to go to dinner, what movie to watch, who to date... You have to be in a relationship, or else you just don't feel like yourself. Your ideal partner: A smooth talker who enjoys socializing as much as you to. Someone classy and cultured who knows which wine to order with dinner. Is beautiful to you - although not necessarily attractive in the traditional sense. Your dating style: Romantic. If your date comes bearing flowers, wine, and poetry... well, your heart soars. Your seduction style: Giving. Your lover's pleasure is as important as your own. Soft and sensual - you don't like anything to be rough. Extravagant ... your fantasy involves staying at a five star hotel with your love. Tips for the future: Don't be so quick to compromise in relationships - and you'll get taken advantage of yes. Try being single for a while. Seems impossible, but you'll learn so much about yourself from doing so. Make some decisions about your romantic life, right now. You'll be happy that you did. Best color to attract mate: Green Best day for a date: Wednesday

What's Your Love Profile?

Blogthings: Discover the Parts of Your Personality that Have Been Hiding

You Are a Low Key Wedding

Love makes you feel calm and at peace. Simply being around those you care for brings out the best in you. To be unloved would make you feel like there was something missing in your life. You'd survive it, but you would have a lonely existence. For you, romantic love is steady and undying. You've gotten to the point in your life where commitment matters a lot to you. When you love someone, you are prepared to be there for that person... for better or worse. Whether you're married or not, you're completely true.

The Wedding Cake Test

Blogthings: Discover the Parts of Your Personality that Have Been Hiding

#232

u know how one place is so crowded but you can only see that one person? its this special feeling you get when you manage to see through the whole lot of people and have eyes for just that one person. Looking back, this was what i was then. It was a happy feeling, even though i seem to be looking into a painting as an outsider. it was a simple feeling, a simple yet happy feeling.

does growing up make you forget how to be happy?

i wish i don't care as much as i do. i wish i could be that person who can just let go of things as easy as a snap of a finger. i've been trying to be all that i'm not, placing the strong front, and showing others how i don't need anyone. sometimes i really need someone to be there. other times i just want to be alone. i dont want to care about every bit of thing going on in my life. i dont want to ask why either.

if the person involved is not even bothered to salvage matters, why on earth does the bystander have to care or bother?

everyone is entitled to be tired. but why does it seem like i'm not? do i look or seem like i have the boundless amount of energy to pull people together? yes i admit it is my instinct. i cant stand disharmony. but why can't you guys take the initiative? i'm sick and tired of trying to be the one pulling everything together when you all seem to be calling it quits.

i really miss the times as a kid, when all i had to do was to cry and my dad would come ask me what happened and give me whatever i wanted.

i miss the time when i knew that tooth fairy doesn't exist but i would put my tooth under my bed, tell my dad about it, and expect money under my pillow the next night. my dad would tell me tooth fairies do not exist but he would still put the money under my pillow. A dollar would seem a lot. 2 dollars then seemed even bigger. You would feel like you are able to own the whole world with that bit of money.

i miss the times when dad would read me bed time stories. He would read till i fell asleep. Sometimes i just wouldn't want to fall asleep and he would have to read me two stories. i liked to hear my dad read. it just somehow makes me feel safe.

i miss the times when my brother would disturb me about my small pillow and the doll that my aunt gave me in the past. he pulled the bear away from the doll's hand and kept saying sorry to me and allowed me to hit him.

i miss the times when mom would bring my brother, sister and me to dad's office so that he can have his dinner. we would then play all sorts of things in the office. first of all we would rush to the drawers and cupboards to see whatever office supplies we could 'steal' home. then we would find markers to draw on the white board. we would give each other quizzes and imitate our tuition teacher. then we would run to the fridge of the office and drink canned drinks that mom would never allow us to buy.

i miss playing the lantern with brother and sister and we would fight to see who wouldn't burn their lanterns/ would be the last one to burn it.

i miss how we can go out for dinner and just enjoy the dinner.

it feels nice to be a princess.

What happened to being happy? Isn't it more important to be happy than to be right? I love this family, i do. but why does it feel like growing up seem to pull me away from whatever is making me happy? i love my friends, i do. but why does it feel like they are sometimes making use of me? why does trust have to be so easily broken? why can't i be stronger and accept that if trust is broken then its broken. it's the process that matters.

tagrepliesonly

COOLEST WENYI: hiiiiiiiiiiii

CUTEST SWEEMUN: am not!! ): and yes, u are annoying, COW! ((:

wenyi: NOT TYPED BY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

joyce: welcome(:

who thee?: i like their new album!! haven listen to all the songs yet though haha!

E L: joyce ah?

#231

AHHHHHH

i actually typed alot of crap alrd.

and then the stupid laptop of mine had this blue screen error.

omg the horror. i think it's spoiling.

HOWWWWWWWWW):

never mind buy a new one lor.

LOL.

I love Joanne . xxxxxINFINITY.

talk only lah hor.

okay my creditors.

i'm saving up for my laptop so i need whatever cash that i should get back.

please return me my money.

or i shall go find whatever ACRYLIC paint i have left in my house.

and splash on ur door.

eh seriously.

i cant rmb what i blogged halfway lah.

oh my.

i think im too tired.

18th August 2010 - 02 sep 2010

okay i shall talk abt the time since study period. hehe

haha basically i just kept studying during the 3 weeks break,

and it got to an extent that i am sick of studying.

i totally didnt want to touch my notes before the exam paper.

neither did i want to write at all. its mad sia.

i study in quite alot of places this time round.

airport, school, central, amk and bishan lib, rivervale plaza and blah i think no more. haha!

journey was pretty long, esp to airport, but oh well, hehhh

then we had a few night outs studying.

overnight studying.

CUI LA SOME PEOPLE.

my sister joined in for studying quite alot of times hhaha!

and then during study breaks,

we also had fun lah.

went to sing K (alrd uncountable lah), went to eat buffet(twice).

watch movie.

went to eat CJ buffet with yj and zy.

they both went crazy over nan gua bing.

and cos of that,

we went there for second round after abt 2 weeks.

and we sat at the same table, same setting.

but second time we went to clarke quay to study after that haha.

celebrated joyce and has bday tgther! (:

on the 23rd of august. ((:

went to pizza hut for dinner and the dessert shop next door for dessert.

LOL.

joyce was kind of surprised.

we went over to her hse the next day (yj, me, ashley, joanne) to surprise her w a cake~~

03 sep to 09 sep was EXAMS!!

OH after exams more happening

09 Sep 2010

went to sing K at amk.

before that we went to eat (darn i forgot)

wait. i think we went cathay to sing instead lei.

or was it hougang?

omt.

i really cant rmb.

AHHH I RMB NOW.

we went to hougang mall for steamboat buffet with yijun's mom and grandma.

omg i feel so bad for sponging off her mom!

then after tht we went to sing K,

and then we went homeeeeeee (:

went to escapeeee with ly, yj, zy on the 10th sep!

((:

like finalllyyyy :)

but i was late. i left house late cos i went back to take passion card then went back again to take monopoly deal.

eeps.

reached kind of late.

then we went to eat BBQ chicken.

haha!

but cos i alrd sort of eaten apple before leaving hse so i alrd full.

i ate mashed potato in the end haha!

AND THEN WE PLAYED MONOPOLY DEAL WHILE WAITING,

and after we finished eating haha!

ly came to join us after that.

then we went to escape!

macflurry sia. ):

play awhile only then rain.

actl is only play one round of viking and then we went to haunted 2 cos it started raining.

there was this super funny sec 4 kid that came to sit beside us.

haha!

there's smth about sec 4N people that makes me want to talk to them.

maybe its cos my sister is in the NA stream?

then zy started freaking us out by suddenly scaring us.

lucky yijun is always in front of me. hehhh.

we waiting for 2 or 3 hours while playing monopoly deal.

haha moral of the story: always have a backup plan!

then we headed off to Ehub to watch movie.

LOL.

we watched a lousy show according to all three of them.

yeah we watched haunted changi.

but i think the show has its good points also,

though i dont encourage people to go watch.

heh.

then we went home~ (((:

with a return ticket to escape :D

11 and 12 sep spent on work.

12 sep half day only though.

went for family dinner afterwards.

after effect of the dinner is my parents are not on speaking terms.

up till today.

doesnt take 2 idiots to figure out how bad this situation is.

15 sep to 16 sep

camp at sch for some korean club?

1st night supposed to scare people at a NW but then we got found out and had to cancel it abruptly. lol. idk how it ended up to that affair but we didn't get to sleep the whole night.

next morn everyone cui,

and a very upset me went to buy soybean milk in the morn.

and i went to buy apple cos i was feeling sad.

and green apples make me happier.

idk why. weird.

but they brushed off 4 out of 5 apples ):

LOL.

and when i got home, i went to sleep.

got awoken at 8pm.

damn i only slept for 3 hours.

ho seh.

i went jogging after that.

weeeeeeee

LOL.

and my mother didnt allow me to eat green apple cos i didnt want eat dinner only want eat my apple.

):

she bought alot of food from JBBBB! (((:

17 Sep

WORKKKK WHOLE DAY AHHHH.

i just feel that you dont treat me like ur other friends.

the balance inside me is tipping,

and i detest it.

and i absolutely hate the fact that every time this kind of thing happens around this period of time.

boooooooooooo.

yeah i'm alive.

i just had this super hectic life even though my exams are over.

actl i need recharging alrd.

i know i sound like some cyborg,

but yeah.

my body kind of works this way...

my holidays have finally started!!

okay great.

i have no idea how to spend it.

honestly, i'm tired now. i'll blog tmr.

WORK STARTS TMR AT NINE!! :))

#230

hha im just here to mention that i'm alive.

(:

blogging soon,

Happy birthday joyce btw ((: (24AUG)

there are things we wont forget in life,

but we should be strong and make whatever sad become strengths to continue our journey.

"有故事的人才会创造有意义的作品。"

damn i cant exactly rmb what the zhong san long said to chen xinyi

but im sticking to it i dun care!

i ♥ ming zhong!!

#229

yes now is exam time, and that means incessant blogging.

(:

headed to AMKhub for Salt today.

totally random,

but it has been on the back of my mind for quite some time already.

headed off to bishan to study alone till 6 plus,

walked home from kovan station,

bought dinner home.

my right leg's in pain.

i dk why, ):

i suddenly miss people watching.

you know what exactly is the idea of people watching?

it's to watch how fast paced almost everyone is going.

it's for you to reflect that on normal days,

you're just like one of them in the streets,

rushing off to one appointment.

people watching is for you to slow down your life,

and appreciate the things that never came across to you as something great.

i need the lone time.

and i don't want to explain why.

#228

I'm not going to explain that I'm okay.

Just don't ask me.

Let me heal, I heal by writing.

this picture is mad cute.

life's been pretty mad and now that i'm starting to slow down,

i'm starting to not get used to it.

mad mad

i'm supposed to enjoy relaxation.

06 August 2010

and so the 4 of us met up to sing K and we walked over to bishan to collect our NDP passes ((:

The three of us then went back to AMK for Inception while ZY headed off to erm. i dk where. lol.

great movie actually.

everyone should go catch it ((:

we went to eat at Sumo House before the movie, niceeeeeeeeeeeee and cheap food i would say,

heh.

07 August 2010

my gut feeling tells me that i worked the whole of today away,

with my legs in pain.

yes the aftermath of not resting.

08 August 2010

Family lunch AND dinner.

gosh.

crazy right?

lunch at Shangri la was not bad actually (above average i would say :D),

but dinner at Jumbo was a tad bit salty plus the waiting time was...

accompanied aunt & cousin from France to Taka after that,

and homed! ((:

09 August 2010

NATIONAL DAY!!

and that marks the end of NDP 2010 ushering.

really glad that i made a group of fast friends that i know cherish all our moments together!!

and we can finally meet up after our dear QUEENIE has completed her 'O's!! JY QUEENIE!!

10 August 2010

yes i worked today full.

i was supposed to people watch during my break but yijun came to accompany me, ((:

and i saw my cutie pie volkswagon car ((: X 1,000,000

work was quite alright i guess haha

11 August 2010

We're so hell of the random.

met yj and zy for lunch buffet at CJ.

haha!

i skipped my dinner and breakfast for this.

LOL.

nah, not on purpose skip one.

and one of us (NOT ME) said "after lunch we should go sing KBox"

and that was where we ended up.

NO STUDY.

goshhh.

it was raining heavily in orchard.

we ran to cine.

IN THE RAIN.

we are super cui.

moral of the story"if your bag is big enough, bring an umbrella"

really, we do the weirdest things!

i went jogging at night!! weeee happpy me! (been ages since i jogged)

12 August 2010

met wy, yw and his friend nicholas for Kbox today

we went to have astons before that.

it was fun, haha!

though its 2 continuous days of singing!!

my money is all flying to Kbox. wth!

13 August 2010

work today,

it wasn't super tiring.

In fact, i felt quite free.

My partner at night said the same thing haha!

the rest of people in the shift were a different matter.

sis came to find me after study i guess,

and we went home together. (:

and there was this stupid table that left so late. RAR

14 August 2010

studied today!!

but halfway go collect yijun's phone

then went to clarke quay to find sis and her friend to study tgther before we went home.

and those crazy maniacs( sis and yj) went crazy over sticky.

aw comeon! it's been in sg for so long!

15 August 2010

Went to celebrate Alvin and Michael's birthday today!

omg i love them.

they are so uber cute!

i'll upload photos soon ((:

♥ THEMMMMM

there was this clown magician that i swear was super funny.

i really dk how he made those tricks.

its so cool!!!!!

went to find yijun to study,

but studied for awhile and i got dragged to kbox again...

lol.

alson came to join us but i think he had sore throat.

16 August 2010

spent the day at ACRA with mum.

i'm gonna change my phone in about 3 days.

no iphone, no galaxy S, made up my mind alrd.

its gonna be Motorola Milestone XT.

maybe i got influenced by dylan from fated to love you,

and i only have eyes for those that are bu qi yan and maybe after i buy it, people will start buying it. LOL

whatever,

its a good phone. i trust my judgement.

17 August 2010

studied with wy and sweemun came to join us shortly after.

then we walked around bishan for awhile before heading off to home.

WY DIDNT DRINK KOI TODAY.

its a miracle! (:

went jogging after that,

(:

#227

When i thought that everything's been healed almost completely,

i'm hit with the insight that things are never as they seem.

It's been over a year.

To count exactly, it's been over one year, two months and twenty two days, which makes it 448 days.

And I ask myself,

Is that amount of time not long enough for me to heal?

What can this memory of yours do to help me live my life in a more complete manner?

It's a vicious cycle.

I just don't know how to face facts that I've got to move on.

I stubbornly hold on to that memory,

even when i know that it only causes me deeper pain as time passes.

Blackie, when i saw the cat of the same physique, same fur color, same shade of eye color,

I smiled.

When i saw it chasing a cockroach running around me, i smiled too.

That moment was short-lived.

Because when i noticed how similar you were to that cat, i broke.

That same feeling of assurance that only you could give me.

Like a lost child who lost tries hard to remember where she should go.

I can't help but wonder.

If everything around me was still the way it was when you were around,

would i have looked at the cat differently?

I figured that i would go home smiling and telling you how similar you were to a cat i saw downstairs,

and maybe that cat was your mother.

I would be telling this to you, happily.

But you're gone, blackie,

and you're not coming back anymore.

It's been umpteen times that I'm telling myself this but

its just that now i know that I've always missed you,

i've lost my sense of directions again.

I've always hated myself for allowing myself to place my projects over allowing me to heal completely from losing you. If there weren't projects, and there weren't people who pushed projects to me, and if I did not put on a strong front to pretend that I'm fine, maybe things might have been different. Maybe people around me would have done how lost I was and they would leave me alone for as long as I needed. Maybe you would say that it is just me shirking my responsibilities, but you are not me, and will never be. You can't understand the hurt that I've went through.

I hate being strong.

I'm just going to crumble down this time, curl myself and cry.

argh im not as nice as i look like people.

don't get cheated.

#226

once in awhile, i like to sit down wherever i am and just think about the going ons in my life and what has been bothering me.

you know what people say about others moving on?

i do know the feeling of being left behind all of a sudden,

i do know the feeling of leaving people behind.

but i guess i don't know the whole feeling of someone being left behind yet.

is leaving people around you behind due to certain unsaid/unwritten reasons wrong?

I've been thinking a lot recently, while taking buses alone, while waiting for people around me. These pockets of time just seem to fill my brain with lots of ideas. I've been very busy, filling up my life with all sorts of activities, and at the end of the day, i question myself. what do i want to get out from it? am i really enjoying all the things I've been doing, or am i just doing everything to stop myself from thinking so much?

blackie's been on my mind quite a lot lately. perhaps it's due to the fact that my thoughts would somehow trail towards the question of "would things be different if blackie was still here?" what exactly is my regret towards blackie? i figured that apart from the very reason that i blame myself for her death, i just miss her. there's no regret for me to speak of because i feel that i have already done so much with her throughout her life. and yes people, i don't talk about it that much anymore, but i do miss her.

and now i talk about regrets. we hear this statement from so many people around us. "Cherish what you've got before you lost it all." We humans just don't learn. We leave room for regrets, we hurt what we love most, and regret when we lose it. Perhaps we should start noticing that it's these regrets that make us feel human. We all make mistakes, we might or might not learn from them. Perfection itself is an imperfection. When does one person yearn most for perfection? I don't know about others, but for me, it's when one is feeling most vulnerable and alone. That's possibly when that person's inferiority complex is at its highest? We need the perfection to keep our confidence level high. This plan backfires, because perfection is unattainable.

And yes, i am a perfectionist, when I am feeling lost, and alone.

I've got to start living,

with or without you people.

#225

HAH!

i'm back again!

school is unofficially over for this term already.

and this brings me closer to the period of time that i can do what i want ((:

i'm actually dead tired from my napfa ytd.

okay actl i tried to act smart.

tue went to do a trial for my napfa,

then go play ard with the fitness corner.

so now tht napfa is over...

(((:

PS i swear my classmates are freaking FIT.

27 JULY 2010

okay today marks the end of JAPANESE!!

at least for this semester...

haha.

i've one last semester left,

SO I BETTER BUCK UP DURING THE HOLIDAYS. (:

speaking test was kind of dreadful.

so worried!! :X:X

but i had a good partner ((:

28 - 30 JULY 2010

projects?

i think that's wat i did...

maybe?

haha

[OH 30 JULY had family dinner with aunt from france ((:]

31 JULY 2010

NDP Preview today!!

i love my group!! ((:

went to collect uniform from LY before the show

heh heh,

i swear i looked like a clown.

and when we took photos with the PRO,

they said we look like red hill.

kind of true....

01 AUGUST 2010

workkk!!

went to orchard central during break to study.

not very productive for me actl.

maybe cos i just want a break.

haha!

okay EXCUSES. ):

02 AUGUST 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEE MUN!! ((:

submitted WISP reflection at 5.03pm cos some idiot printed things for about half an hour!?

macflurry sia.

joined yijun, jocelyn and alson to study at AMK hub after that,

i swear i'm tired.

wonder why..

03 AUGUST 2010

freak,

we are damn bloody hell random.

yijun and i went kbox from 2 to 7pm

crazy nutcases i would say.

we're mad.

went to trial my napfa after that

04 AUGUST 2010

muscle ache, i'm serious.

dk what happened.

too long never train or what?

yijun came to my hse to print stuff for bcomm,

omg sparky didn't bite her sia.

ahhh my dog so cute.

i like to bully her.

hehehe

met ashley for fish and co

OMG SHE TREAT ME TO DINNER LA

*guiltyyyyy*

THANK YOU WOMAN!! (((:

05 AUGUST 2010

NAPFA today,

nah i shan't complain or be too happy abt my results~~

kbox with the girls after that.

but doggone it,

i was so freaking tired. )):

06 AUGUST 2010

THTS TODAY!!

going to go kbox and watch inception today with YJ, LY and ZY!

all their names got Y de. ): only mine got XP so weird. ):

yayyyness ((:

tag replies only (:

wy: it's like only now that i realize my tagboard's existance. LOL
HAHAHAHAHA: LOL. through FACEBOOOK. LOL
who thee: ((: got go watch? its damn cute!
yijun: i think u're the retarded one leh...
yijun: its conveniently. (:
=p: WHO ARE YOU AH LOL

#224

and when i stop,

i really stop for a long time...

projects have been hell.

song currently stuck in my head: gives you hell by American Rejects.

gosh,

its been like 10 days since i blogged.

17th July

NE3 today! (:

met up with grp mates for brunch at LJS.

it was fun,

and we went out to usher the public today!

but ushering the SPAT schools wasn't exactly easy,

i would start wondering how they are going to survive in this society in future.

it's not easy, especially with the standard of living increasing,

society's getting increasingly fast paced,

who would slow down for them?

sometimes i feel that we take things for granted,

we really don't know what we have until we've lost it.

but people just aren't going to see it.

18th July

met up with crazies for movie!!

DESPICABLE ME! ((:

i like agnes.

she has a unicorn, i have a bear. we're similar.

LOL.

suddenly we have a family of despicable me. LOL

ok i shld stop lolling. letter L is coming out of the keyboard again.

ahaha!

went to eat astons before that,

we smuggled (JELLY) inside.

its so funny.

who smuggles jelly inside one!!?

anw i liked the movie.

its funny.

haha!

i like funny movies.

met ashley for KBOX.

lol.

i found someone who sings softer than meeeeeeeeeeeee

haha!!

19th July - 23rd July

mad rush of projects.

i seriously dk what else i was doing,

other than staying back and study.

LOL.

but then!

ok i really cant rmb. ):

24th July - 25th July

mad rush of projects while in Malacca for holiday

dun call me crazy.

i objected to the holiday )):

crazyyyyyyyyy

26th July

submission of 2 projects!

(like finalllllyyy)

met yijun and jundong, and his friend alson for Kbox at hougang.

oh my we sort of went abit mad.

kept asking jd to sing but he didn't want.

actl i had fun lei yijun.

the singing part.

LOL.

and crazy yijun and me decided to attempt bu tong by angela.

we ARE crazy.

(:

i've been really crazy lately, going to kbox so frequently. LOL

NOT PLANNED BY ME HOR!

#223

omg when i start blogging i just can't and won't stop.

LOL.

okay what i'm going to blog about now is extremely serious,

and is not a joke at all.

after so many years,

i finally know where i stand in the friendship with this fellow friend.

first of all,

she's really weird. for no rhyme of reason,

she comes talk to me on MSN, saying SHIT YOU

(i didn't do anything to her la! walao eh)

and then she bo tai bo ji say i bully her (wth? i never do anything!)

and then cos she doesnt have as many cute emoticons as me,

she is jealous and says, "u cry u big ar!"

seriously, my friend. ):

i feel like i'm being mistreated ):

and then after this, she know i would confirm blog abt her being mean

seriously, no sense of guilt sia she.

she still can say "you are going to block right"

BLOCK.

EPIC FAIL LAH SHE.

i see how she BLOCKS whatever i say abt her here.

(it's the truth though, i didnt edit any parts of the conversation)

experience, the power of picture cropping people (:

#222

i can't sleep.

seriously.

my body clock's like screwed.

SCREWED AH. ):

i should go to sleep.

i should sleep early today.

but i am so stubborn,

i don't want to go sleep.

ok i tried to sleep.

but it just didn't work.

):

it's unfair.

oh btw,

IB project is over.

goodbye (:

okay i have nothing to blog about today. LOL

can't wait for my weekend (:

this's post 222 btw.

my fav 2! :D

#221

if anyone asks me why i am blogging when i am supposed to finish up my IB,

i'm going to tell them that i have enough with a whole day of IB.

i need a break.

experts say that breaks are good for progress in work.

and i'm using my breaktime to blog.

go check it up. it's IEPOAIX theory.

okay so what do i want to blog about...

i'll start with ytd!

thought school started at 12 but it started at 11, and as a result i skipped the first lesson of the say, which was IPD lecture. hmmm. did my IB proj while waiting for end of lecture outside.

lunched with yijun at alumni in the end and went off for tutorial.

headed to ourspace to meet yj and yt after class before doing a bit of IB proj and then heading off to town to sort of celebrate weili's farewell.

okay i dun think celebrate is a good word here,

but yeah.

went the kbox at cine,

first time at tht outlet seriously.

hahaha,

and they made me sing a song alone cos they claim i never really sing?!

*faint*

really damn paisei for me actl.

):

my eyes are seriously closing at this point of time

my throat is *coughs* in pain?

today,

i skipped school for IB project.

saw EC today (:

really spent like the day in the lib

gosh.

had mac for dinner.

eh the spicy nuggets not bad.

but someone can't eat spicy food then want act smart order that lah.

in the end had to trade with me.

LOL.

lousy oh!

hahahaha

and now i'm finally home.

wanting to sleep but know i shouldn't.

okay end of break

DESPICABLE ME ON SUNDAY WOOTS!

PS DIE Again's nice. i want watch

PPS ytd watched a bit of gossip girls and find it kind of interesting

PPPS can't wait for end of projects.

PPPPS actl nothing alrd, just like to see the PS's P increase. haha!