2 over weeks after

I realised I never really got to talking about the 30-day challenge post-30 days.

I talked to a few friends about it, and this is the summary.

Before the 30 days, my fitness level was about 3/5. After the 30 days, its about 4/5. Why do I feel so? Before the 30 days, my push ups weren't in very good form and I can barely do 10. After, I could do more than 10 and my form was better. That was just one indicator though, there are many more.

I got into this challenge cos I was already doing level 2 now and then for the past 2 years. After coming back to Singapore, I hit an exercise rut. I blame the weather and my lifestyle. I like to exercise in the late mornings, but by 830 am, especially during this haze season, running outdoors can kill me. Running in the evenings is probably the best time for me in terms of weather but I usually have commitments in the evenings. I can't really bring myself to go to the gym in Singapore because, I really don't know why. Maybe they are just too crowded for me to go alone?

Back to the challenge.
Level 1 was easy for me. Easy, but I still perspired like crazy. It honestly felt good after the workout, but I could already do level 2 in the past, so I was getting a little bored after a few days, but I wanted to press on in level 1. When 10 days came up, I was glad. Level 2 previously gave me sore muscles the following day of the workout. As sadistic as I might sound, I was looking forward to it.

As expected, level 2 was still doable for me. In fact, the 10 days in level 1 must have prepared my body well. I did not feel muscle aches at all! This already made me feel fitter. It was more difficult though. I was excited to get into level 3, a little apprehensive, but excited all the same. I haven't done level 3 before, and I was worried about the sore muscles all of the sudden (gee I don't know why the sudden change; I think I didn't want to give up on a day due to sore muscles).

So level 3 came. In my opinion, it was freaking hard. After strength was cardio mixed with strength and then abs which sometimes had a mixture of strength too. The time seemingly passed really fast too. I guess I didn't pay attention to the time so much when I was struggling to hold my breath for more of the workout. Right till the last day of the level 3 workout, I was still unable to follow through all the way, I had to stop for about 5 seconds during the last (cardio) part. I'm going to make it my next goal when I next start on this 30-day challenge again.

Right now, I am taking a short break from HIIT and am easing myself back into my normal routine of exercise. That being said, I'm pretty sure I will still go back to do the level 3 now and then.

I didn't follow any diet plans. I find it a little tiring to stick to any diet plan in particular but I did feel a difference in the strength of my muscles. But my main aim was to get back into the exercise routine, so that was a minor issue. My diet did influence the strength I had to do my workout though, which is something I felt I had to pay attention to.

You know when you are never happy with what you look like?

I think it's quite obvious from the title what this post is going to be like.

I think I lost count of the number of years that I was dissatisfied with my body.

In my growing years, I think I couldn't be bothered. 

Well, I think I was too preoccupied with my friends in primary school then. 

Then you know how it goes, you go into a secondary school and suddenly you're a nobody and you suddenly forget how to make friends and become super self-conscious. 

At least that happened for me. 

Well, at first I was still not bothered. But throw in puberty and your first crush? Okay, now I am starting to bother. But no, still no action, couldn't get to it. Hated exercising, especially running. And you know this self-denial thing? Yeah, I went through that phase too. "It's not so bad, it's fine. you're in the normal weight range again! You're not fat." Well, eventually I did get fat.

And really, the thing about getting fatter and being a nice person, is that people don't exactly make fun of you. Well, they might talk behind your back, but what you wouldn't know wouldn't kill you... No one really openly calls you fat when you are nice cos maybe they feel mean themselves if they make fun of you. Hey, I don't really know the rationale. 

But I was putting on so much weight over the years that when I look back now, I seriously wonder what happened. I probably hit the heaviest when I was in Poly. Well, no more PE to keep you from gaining too much weight, no self-discipline to go exercise on your own. I was still in self-denial then man. Okay maybe not self-denial. I think it was more like, I can't give a damn already. 

And then I was planning an event as part of my module. And you know how these events go, mandatory group shots. I looked at the photos after the event and I was like "My goodness, seriously?" I felt horrible. I think I looked terrible. And I'm not going to hide this picture. I think this picture should forever serve as a reminder to take good care of my body and never let it get to this stage ever again. 

And no, I don't exactly remember when I really started losing weight, but I did remember changing my lifestyle when I went to Shanghai for a 6 weeks school program/holiday. Seriously, exercising with a friend is more fun. I started to like running. Then I met with a few issues and I started going running alone. I loved it more. Blasting fast paced songs as time went by, running faster and longer, I started loving running. 

I was aware I lost some weight by the time I returned from the program. My clothes were more loose, and really, it felt good. And the change was then. I would go for runs with my friends in school. In year 3, I went for PFM and made it my goal to get that silver for NAPFA so that I would get the school jacket. Well, I did get my jacket in the end. Haha!

Here's the interesting part. I started working part time at this place and this group of colleagues would always make fun of me and joke around calling me xiao fei, etc. It was really really annoying and hurting to my self-esteem. But I brushed them away and pretended to ignore their mean behaviour. 

And then I went to Melbourne. Honestly, best chance to change my lifestyle and live for myself. It was quite suffocating back at home because I felt forever burdened by a lot of responsibilities within the family. I lost a lot of weight. In fact, I think over the course of a year, I lost almost 10 kilos. I kinda became a little obsessed with exercising. I felt uneasy if I missed a gym or a swimming session. I wasn't even going with a friend. I was going on my own. And I started becoming concerned about my over-enthusiastic behaviour towards exercise. I actually went to read about it and realised that people could indeed get addicted to exercising. Well, I don't know about others, but I really think this was upsetting balance and I didn't like it. I forced myself to stop thinking so much about exercising and re-evaluated how I was planning my life. Basically, I went off balance once again.

Today, my weight still fluctuates, but when I don't exercise, I don't beat myself up for it but I don't let myself stay inactive for too long either. Most important lesson of all, if I am unhappy with how I look, I do something about it now. Cos waiting for something to change is just not going to cut it. Not happy arms not toned enough? Lift weights. Legs not toned enough? More squats please. Tummy coming out? Cardio and abs workout. Eat healthier, cut down on junk food. Feel better about self and happier with life. Be more energetic. 

Change doesn't happen with whining. The first step is always the hardest. 

6-day countdown

It is finally coming to the end of the one month!!

Jillian Michaels wasn't kidding when she said she wanted the person doing the workout to feel like he/she was going to die.

Level one was pretty easy. Level 2 was doable since i have done it before. But oh my goodness, i really wanted to die at level 3. But i insist on completing the proper 30 days hahaha.

It's a personal challenge.

On a side note, I'm so glad i finished today's one already.

Its just 6 more days. I can do this.

Hiatus from Running

I actually miss running.

I miss running but I'm on this 30-day challenge with myself where I workout daily. It ends on the 19th of this month. To be honest, I cannot wait to go back to running. But I started on this, and I don't want to stop halfway.

Plus, it's not like this workout has no benefits. HAHA.

To be really honest, I feel more tired than when I go for runs when doing this workout. And that makes me feel more accomplished after the workouts. 20 minutes is also a really short time, it's not that bad for a person like me who seriously has issues with keeping to time cos she has a million things that she set herself up for oops.

And although this workout is only 20 minutes, I actually feel fitter after the workouts as compared to running. My minimum runs are usually about 3.5km now. And I feel a little guilty when I go for runs because I feel like I could use that time for something else (I take about an hour plus with walking and using the exercise machines in my neighbourhood).

I wonder if I would be able to go even further after this 30-day challenge. :P

Oh well, 20th, come quickly!