P.R (:

introducing the power rangers! :D

i'm talented in drawing.

I AM :D

i super wanted white,

but.

WHITE CANNOT BE SEEN!

mws i really wanted white! ))):

love the girls, though they can sometimes be so mean ):

yt, be strong.

you can do it.

we all can do it. (:

#217

mother.

dk why the song i posted cannot be seen in google chrome. its such a cute and addictive song.

so many things to blog now tht i decided to come blog.

life super happening seh.

LOL

like real.

sia lah. i miss my cat.

ok random.

where should i start.

hmmm.

i shall start with announcing that i lost my phone, and don't have many peoples' contacts.

so if you want to be contacted, then u tell me ur number. lol

im tired of asking for people numbers.

its been about a month i guess.

oh well,

no common tests!

brother's birthday on 28th may!

chalet at east coast was pretty bad but overall things turned out fine?

tiring arrangement though.

haha!

bro's friends are funny.

really.

LOL

i think as long as i start planning smth i wont let it go wrong.

cos there is this streak of determination in me that wants things to be a success.

celebrated yijun's bday at CJ!

haha, it was certainly hard trying to keep a secret.

when people kept doing things that made her suspect.

thank god she's a bit dumb

and i'm talented in lying to her.

LOL.

*anw, friends are for the keeps when you know they see the same way as you. (to a certain someone, that's probably why we aren't and will never be great friends)

met SS friends for movie and celebrated dada bday! :D

miss them! so long didnt meet alrd.

*awaiting pictures!*

we watched SHREK 3!!

and dinnered at pasta mania,

that stupid dada was surprised, but didnt show it!

):

but i am happy to see them again after such a long time :D

had meeting with F, together with l and andy.

oh my, actl it's nervebreaking.

LOL.

but at least i knw what it's like! =D

had PFM test, then went to marina sq with yul :D

we saw someone we knew but that someone apparently did not see us when yul called out her name loudly, and both of us were waving.

*from this incident, i should take note that i have to open my eyes/ears and look/hear around to see if there are people i know waving/calling. if not, i would come across as a rude person who has no social etiquette.*

after that met LY at suntec.

then we went to walk ard.

haha!

talked to both yul and LY abt alot of stuffs. (:

they are the few that i can have heart to heart talks with.

perhaps it really has something to do with people who listen.

*haven met A for a long time. miss doing all the weird stuffs tgther, like smuggling subway into the cinema*

went wy house for MJ! :D

made a new friend called yw.

LOL.

we went to pool after mahjong.

oh my, my pool got improve leh.

*though its still lousy, WHATEVER. haha!

went to PC fair,

saw zy.

and i think i saw secondary/pri sch friends also. LOL.

pc fair used to be the place i avoid cos of a certain person.

it's funny how things change.

but then again, people change all the time.

some people change to be wanted.

but here's how it is.

is changing to be someone you are not that honorable?

i know you're pretending.

correction, we all know.

and i certainly wouldn't take the back seat anymore.

you're dead meat if you try anything more.

had BBQ with sis friends and poly friends.

though i didnt ask alot of them,

haha.

pretty last min thing.

yijun came over in the afternoon to help out.

omg. she kept feeding my dog.

LOL.

*the only stranger that is mad enough to say my dog is cute.*

well,

at least there was effort to meet up poly clique! :)

love you guys! (you know who you are :D)

met yul for

have been meeting yj alot lately,

LOL.

and talking on the phone abt all sorts of stuffs.

u knw, sometimes, it's you.

THE LIE!

oh my please pause my blog songs before you listen to this cute song.

#216

i can't take this anymore.
when i look at myself,
all i think about is my messed up mind.
how can one person have so many feelings and emotions at the same time?

am i a low maintenance friend?
because you guys are making me feel this way.
i don't want to pinpoint who you guys are.
i guess you know.
but just in case you don't,
i guess i'll just have you know now.
after 18 over years in my life,
i'll just have you guys know this.
i'm sick and tired of being that low maintenance friend.
sick and tired that i'm an option.
sick and tired that you guys can just ps me due to some reasons that are 'unforeseen'.
sick and tired that i have to be alone when you guys have the others for company.
and even more sick and tired of broken promises.
and just because i don't mention anything about it doesn't mean that i never minded it.
don't say sorry when you don't mean it.
it takes the meaning away from the apology itself.

when i look back,
i know for myself.
i'm not exactly the most rational person on earth.
i do have my irrational moments.
perhaps this is the time that i'm being irrational,
but i don't wish to stop myself from being what i am now.
because this is how i am reacting to things happening around me.
i can't talk to you guys about this face to face,
because of certain reasons.
and i choose to write it here,
because i guess,
only people who bother will come here.
but yes, i am waiting for people to take the initiative,
cos i'm done with doing that.

#215

i've been very reluctant to blog.
maybe cos i'm busy?
or maybe i don't really want to let people in to what i have been thinking.
idk.

maybe the huge amount of time left alone on tue was the time for me to reflect.

i can still remember how comforted i was when i saw my jap class friend yesterday outside class, before going into jap class.

even though we were not close.

perhaps that was when i realized that i really needed some form of support, and i really didn't want to be alone at all.

so that explained my sinking feeling when i have to be alone.

but thank you people,
thank you those who entered into my life today, in any form.
whether intentionally or unintentionally.
because today was the day i thought i would break.

thank you mum, grandma, and grandaunt for having lunch with me and making me laugh even though its celebration for your birthday, grandma.
thank you terence for crapping quite alot with me today. it sort of filled up the empty gaps. lets go chomp chomp one day haha.

thank you yijun for accompanying me through the pockets of time while i was waiting for ashley at bishan.

thank you ashley for arranging to come out and meet me despite you being so busy at work today, and the bookmark on ryeowook! ♥

there are so many thank yous i have to make.

perhaps even though its 365 days after you left, i still haven't forgotten you,

or how close we were.

Blackie, you mended alot of things in my life, including my relationship with my sister.

i knew i hated you at first.

but in the weirdest way, the person you became closest to was me.

even up till today,

i am still unable to forget how you used to call out differently to me when kor brought you over to grandma house.

to others, you called out angrily, but when i went to you, you called out like how a scared child would call his/her mother.

and then i would recall you playing hide and seek + catching around in the house with me.

you running out of the house and losing your way, not knowing how to come home, needing me to go find you level by level.

you 'whining' at me when i bathe you.

you stretching lazily when i call you when you are sleeping.

you responding to only me calling by coming over to find me.

you allowing me to hug you tightly when things so bad happen to me and i just keep crying when you hate hugs.

you coming to find me in the middle of the night when i'm studying for exams, etc.

you falling sick and i losing sleep by waking up every hour automatically cos i'm so worried for you.

you allowing only me to carry you like how a mother would carry her child. you would squirm out of everyone else's hand if they tried to do the same.

i chasing you out of the house angrily when you were naughty.

there are so many more.

i can't force you out of my memory,

and i want to keep you in my memory too.

i notice no matter how bad my memory is at certain things,

i just won't forget all the bits and pieces of you.

i know things won't be the same anymore.

and maybe after one year of self denial

i'm finally learning to let you go.

i won't stop myself from missing you, because i know that is normal,

and maybe from you, i learnt that i have to protect myself.

i notice how i would start to think of you when things start going wrong.

well, never again.

i would stop doing that from now.

because you are no longer here, i have to accept this.

thinking of you when things go wrong make me more sad than ever.

but i'll learn,

i'll learn slowly,

thank you blackie.

i miss you.

dun waste ur wishes. give them to me.
i want it :D

http://sup3rjunior.wordpress.com/2010/05/17/inkigayo-rehearsal-moments/
i love super junior!
they don't walk away (:

walking away

i think this sort of thing often happens to me,
people coming
people leaving.
people coming back again,
without knowing they have left me behind before.

but people,
i'm sick of this.
sick of you guys leaving,
coming back acting as if nth ever happened.

i no longer have the energy to take you back while pretending that things are the same.
i'm not me anymore.
or rather, i'm not the me that used to be so into people around me.
i had this thinking that if i was left alone again,
i would break.
but i didn't.
i stayed whole as i was,
and continued moving on.

sometimes people say that people sometimes walk away to see who will chase after them.
but i guess once your heart hardens,
no matter how far the other chases,
they can't reach out to you.
it's as if you were there,
they can see you,
you can see them,
but they can't feel you,
just like you can't feel them.

my blog later become never blog at all sia.
haha

24th APRIL 2010
went out with mum and sis if i rmb correctly.
hehe
we went city sq mall again.
LOL!
okay nth liao.
idk if i had work. but i think no leh.
LOL.

25 APRIL 2010
i hate sundays. GAHH

28 APRIL 2010
I LOVE TODAY! :D
after sch meet ly and yt for jogging,
then left earlier cos need to go meet ashley, joyce, and naing for dinner
WEEE~
so long never see him alrd
i super miss fish and co :(
oh well.
haha

01 MAY 2010
work whole day! :D
i quite like working in CJ.
people there are mostly nice.
:D

05 MAY 2010
met ashley at bishan!
she go buy formal
then we go eat manhatten
then then then
met her fren's boyf to discuss her fren bday celebration
haha
homed!
haaappppppyy :D:D

08 MAY 2010
today work whole day again.
money money money i love money!
haha night was super busy i couldn't take it!
and i was super tired. LOL
then there was this person who looked like older version of EC
OMG
LOL.

09 MAY 2010
work half day then went to celebrate mother's day
collected cake after work
i shall post it one day! :D
actl is grandma birthday.
haha!

*~*~*~*~*~*~

i realize i like XXX alot.

no no i LOVE XXX.

XXX never fails me.

always comes to me when needed.

you know what's XXX?

ITS MONEY :D

hahhaha

i love money!

-.-

tell me who dun...

i should start getting back to earth.

tag replies only :)

yanling: :( but im not mean! i intro people to u leh! :D
yu loon: LOL. not extended to you. only me me me me!
yi jun: :(
who thee: haha YEAP. omg when are we meeting again? :D
yijun: how can i NOT blog abt 23 :D
yijun: if u have nth good to say abt MWS i dun want friend you alrd. hmph. ):
XP: WHO ON EARTH ARE YOU?! LOL

omg so long never blog again.
but my brain really cant think of what happened you knw.
but i saw MWS on wed :D

shit sia. my whole brain only full of MWS. will blog later when my mind more clear. now very tired. heh heh

#214

i die die must blog about the 23rd you know.
HOW CAN I NOT BLOG ABOUT THE 23rd?!
it's so impt!
hahaha
yijun's gonna hate me for this.
but i dun care.
(A)
LOL.
aiya i knw she wont so petty one.

actl 23rd is such a funny day.
i started school at 9,
eh my mood wasnt the super happy one
but there was a funny weird feeling
cos i slept for just a few hours and i dun feel tired at all.
so i knew smth was on.
LOL.
*like real*
and so i went for lessons as per normal,
but i met yijun for lunch and she pei me go for lecture (:
we kept meeting people we knew then we were waving and waving.
lecturer didn't notice yijun is weird.
hahaha
after lecture we went to the toilet.
THEN
some dodo bird left her phone there.
and didn't realize it,
till we boarded the bus halfway
and so we cabbed back to NP
and we didnt understand a word that the cab driver said.
i went SSC and she went to the toilet.
she's damn freaking lucky can.
when she come find me, she say its cfm in the toilet cos she rmb putting it down.
then i alrd called the security guard u knw.
LOL
she alrd v kanjiong,
but they insist on black and white,
she must fill in an online form before she can see her phone
LOL.
i just kept laughing.
then the guy called one of her classmates.
u knw whats the funny thing?
i called her phone so many times they never answer.
._.
and later we had to cab down to work
at first one girl cut our queue.
nvm.
then one group of guys came to cut our queue.
wow.
one of them i see before one somemore.
look at me and cross the road and then started flagging the taxi.
WIN.
later yijun damn pek chek.
LOL
keep on complaining.
and then we saw them cross the road to flag the taxi.
hahahha.
we were early for work!!
(:

(LOVES)

#213

not going to update too far back.
largely because nothing exactly exciting or out of the world happened.
okay maybe alot of exciting things happened okay.
then i'll end up blogging for everyday!

05 APRIL 2010
went to novena to pass janice the cards,
then went to orchard to meet LY for fish and co!
she had the $1 fish and chips and i had the coriander catch.
HOHO!
i notice i spend alot on food.
i shall stop doing so.
after the whole list of places that i want to visit okay.
HAHA!
then i went to raffles city to work.
and my cough is starting to get worse.
then we bought yt's present!
and ly continued shopping while i went for work (:

08 APRIL 2010
went to school to celebrate yoketeng birthday after work
we slacked around so much!


10 APRIL 2010



HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOKETENG!
went to work at CJ.
noticed one random fact about me.
when my wallet is going empty,
CJ always saves me by paying me my salary to survive my days of going out.
LOVE CJ! ♥

11 APRIL 2010
underwater world with dada, has, and joyce!
♥ them!
has made sandwiches for all of us to eat
honestly there wasn't much things for us to do u knw.
its like, sentosa is so big,
but...
okay my expectations too high can.
there were peacocks, and alot alot of things!!
and i rmb i kept asking joyce what the name of the fish was.
she just stubbornly refused to say it is NEMO.
so i kept hitting her with the toy.
lol.
we ate at ramen ten again
then we went to hougang mall to 'visit' has at work.
and joyce bought the cinammon melt or smth?
remind me of apple pie. haha!

12 APRIL 2010
supposed to go watch movie with yijun but we couldn't because of work.

13 APRIL 2010



caught how to train your dragon 3D with yijun after work.
maybe it's the eyes,
or the loyalty,
or the trust from the dragon,
i'm reminded of blackie.
i dk, just miss her so much
then we went to find yijun handphone cover or smth like tht
DAMN COMICAL.
(LOVE TOOTHLESS :D)
how to train ur dragon was nice btw,
very touching

15 APRIL 2010
met LY after my day's work for dinner
then we went to take photos at orchard central.
tht woman wanted to take jump shots and we ended up with zillions of it!
and finally got it right.
LOL.


16 APRIL 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRENDAN
went to brendan birthday chalet.
at first really paisei can.
first to reach then all his family members there.
mg.
and no fish and co people turned up.
GOSH.
felt so out of place but at least got ashley and joyce.
haha!

17 APRIL 2010
went to CJ to work whole day shift!
everyone so shocked.
haha then yijun drag me to go eat subway.

19 APRIL 2010
and today shld be a happy day haha
i cooked today!!
abalone with broccoli and straw mushrooms,
cereal prawns,
and baked potatoes!
EH NOT BAD ALRD OKAY.
grandpa tell me i can go open my retaurant.
LOL.
i think it will collapse.
hahaha

20 APRIL 2010
i'm so touched.
yul mummy bought egg tarts for me
but i dropped it on the bus.
and when i told her,
she stil say she will buy for me on thur!
*sniff sniff*
i'm super duper uper per er r touched!
went pizza hut for lunch,
and then headed back to school to slack while waiting for jap class.
tired.
YS and me cabbed to bishan cos she needed to rush there.
haha!

22 APRIL 2010
K WITH THE GIRLS!
haha
okay i enjoyed myself but i was really tired.
first time i went K u knw.
hahaha!

23 APRIL 2010
shall blog in a sep post (:

MWS!

okay here's what i feel.

MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS
MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS
MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS
MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS
MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS MWS

hahaha, ♥

i shall stay in my fantasy.
♥♥♥

random

gosh i think i am so weird. i refuse to acknowledge the money in my bank account and i keep complaining that i am broke. can someone slap me awake or smth. -.-

#213

yanling: then i'll give ur number. LOL
joyce: u see wrong. no kbox.
who thee: heh :D:D okay! hahahah!

oh gosh,
only when i sit down and decide to blog that i realize its been such a long time.
and yet million thoughts fill my mind daily.
what's this blog for ahhh.
haha, for me to crap when i feel like it.
LOL.

21 MARCH 2010
i was supposed to work at CJ but i didnt because i started to feel unwell alrd.
now come to think about it, i fall sick for quite some time alrd.
lol.
abit slow ah.
but i think i went jogging cos i always feel that exercising will make me feel better.
-.-
yeah i knw, weird theory.
i have lots of weird theories.
big deal!

22 MARCH 2010 to 26 MARCH 2010

22 MARCH - HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENYI!

23 MARCH - HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHENGYAO!

26 MARCH - HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

spent working,
but 26th went to celebrate dad's bday.
brother is back too! (:
food was okayyyy,
i rushed down from work.
because at night eating buffet what, so i didnt eat lunch, and didnt really eat breakfast(i ate TOMATOES :D)
walao. i didnt manage to eat much u knw.
i was practically starved.
-.-
whats wrong with me?
IDK.
daddy bday present was UPapa.
next time i'm going to earn lots of money to buy him the big OSIM massage chair.
i know he likes that one,
but my money is tied up somewhere~
*but i think im going to buy my WII/crumpler before anything else. haha!*

27 MARCH 2010
worked at CJ in the morning.
i was the so called main runner.
haha!
omg i super huai nian the feeling.
they ask me to eat lunch,
i feel so paiseiiiii.
in the end i ate abit then i faster go home cos at night need go balestier.
lol.
haha, i was told to alight when i see 7-11. in the end, i needed to walk two bus stops.
*stares at someone*
oh well,
at first abit awkward u knw,
cos i hardly knw anyone there,
its like i knw some of them exist but i dun talk to them de.
then its abit idk lah, funny?
ahha
in the end i found 2 new friends.
LOL.
evon and gerene.
(:
we even cabbed home together cos we stay quite near~

28 MARCH 2010
went to work because patrick was on mc.
after that, rushed to serangoon garden for dinner
the food not bad, but v exp i feel~
alvin sooo cute haha! (:

29 MARCH 2010 to 01 APRIL 2010
work
oh that stupid zy msg me and tell me we dun have to go work next day cos his LO just called him and there was a compulsory briefing. and i fell for it.
GOSH.
how can he do such a thing right?
then i went to work on 1st april wondering will anyone trick me.
thank god.
lol.
and because i was coughing so badly till my face turned red, and sneezing till my nose turned red,
i asked supervisor if i go on mc next day will she be able to find a replacement.
she was so nice, she help me ask around and finally found someone.
i'm really TOUCHED!
and then i was so scared i will fail my internship that i went to ask people.
haha, omg my friends are nice.
im touched (:
alien came to find me and treat me to dinner somemore!!
1st april is such a touching day.
LOL.

02 APRIL 2010
thats good friday.
the day i MC-ed.
eh there's alot of medi to take u knw.
like so many pills.
i went jogging! :D
when dad came home at night, he said no exercising because i have asthma history
gosh.
i really feel so sianned.
but lucky didnt tell him i went jogging.
or i think i wont be alive alrd. lol
but i really felt better when i went jogging.
oh well~

03 APRIL 2010
i tried to pack the house like what mum asked.
but the medi made me v drowsy and i ended up sleeping and waking up now and then cos of my cough.
when i woke up, its time for dinner.
lol
which animal sleeps and eats.
don't answer.
it was a rhetorical question.
i dk if its me falling sick or what,
i feel very sian when i see food.

#212

song in my head: 爱不单行, 折疊式愛情
i didnt watch tht show, not yet... haha!

my previous post was so sian right.
idk, recently work is so sian.
aiya life so sian.
oh my mother god.
i sound so sian also.

I WANT TO DO ALOT OF THINGS YOU KNOW ))):

1. BACKPACKING
2. TRAVEL AROUND SINGAPORE
3. i wanna work from home.
4. i want my jogging.
5. i need my sleep.
6. KBOX :)
7. do some crazy things
8. READ.

i've finished the "book of tomorrow" alrd.
gosh, nerdy me is coming back.
how how how.
i just keep reading and reading.
this holiday is a disaster.
i'm one of those people in the train ride reading while standing.
it kind of allows time to pass fast.
i look up and OH i'm in kovan alrd.
then i'll race against time to reach home before 10.50pm
hahahaha.
the funniest things that i do when i have nothing better to do.

i think i should come up with a proper list.
i haven't blogged about what happened recently.
hmmmmm,
maybe i should start =D

actually this whole week passed by in a blur.
i mentioned kaya toast in my last post right?
hahahaha.
omg i got cravings for it! heh heh heh *imagine my panda hopping ard. haha!*

18 MARCH 2010
i really dun like working at CP.
this weird guy keep staring at me.
its very freaky.
VERY. ))):
one day i'll get nightmares.
and then maybe i will SCREAM at him. D:

19 MARCH 2010
work was so funny today,
i got visitors today!
- patrick came frm centrepoint during his break.
- bday girl, ly, swee mun, lynn, yoketeng came find me after their bday dinner and baoc meeting. they sat at the children table.
LOL.
and ly kept pretending she was buying a shirt for her husband.
they waited for me to finish work and then cut wy cake.
OMG MY PHONE DIED ON ME ):
i forgot to charge it, my fault. i didnt feed it.
oh damn whats wrong with me. lol.
oh and some red shirt guy scared the hell out of me.
i think i'll go to heaven alrd.
and then later i dk was talking abt what.
zy recommended to watch channel u show.
its called moment to remember.
i always wanted to watch the show.
i remember telling has that i found the girl pretty and she told me the girl looked weird (in secondary 3 or 4)
i dk why i never bought the show. i think cos i knw i will cry.
like watching hearty paws.
even though i only watch second part of the show,
its still so sad tht i cried.
do you know why the show is called moment to remember? because the first time of them meeting was the moment to remember, and even when she lost her memory of her beloved, she remembered him, their meeting, the moment she saw him, in the same mart again.

AHHH SO SAD. where to find this kind of guy u tell me!!!!
*i hope i wont be like her. my memory's kinda bad at times. )):*

20 MARCH 2010
mummy bday today. (:
i went to attend a talk with her,
its so boring that she dozed off u knw.
we left halfway.
haha!
we went to city square mall.
the eco friendly mall.
i saw STITCH!!
awww cute cute stitch!!
but some tall weirdo was in the costume so it made stitch look tall and skinny!
which is so not stitch. ):
OH OH
and i saw freaky chicky!
ewwwwwww
i went to popular to buy a new book.
and i left my beloved umbrella at popular.
lol. cannot continue like this. cannot cannot.
then we went to eat buffet!
i was so hungry that i felt i could eat a cow.
stupid me. i think at the rate i go,
i can't even eat a quarter.

just wondering, would you take someone who treats u like **** back?
i wouldn't, no. not anymore.

tagsrepliesonly

has: thanks (:
who thee?: YES, let's go CYCLING. :D
janice: LOL, nice one. when are u really gonna get to drive ahhhh?
HShore: a post dedicated to you, omg, u're honoured or i'm honoured?
yijun: haha, thanks man. LOL

#211

hahaha, omg, i wanted to update,
but...
hahaha, distractions.
LOL.

SUPER JUNIOR.

never mind i dun mind. LOL.
shall update (like finally.)
i need to blog out 18 days?
gosh.
anw,
01 MARCH 2010
went for internship,
reached early cos first impression quite impt.
haha,
02 MARCH 2010 to 05 MARCH 2010
started out mystery shopping for the company.
kinda fun,
and i had company :D
haha.
♥
haha, on one of the days, we were so enthu. we finished up mystery shopping and went to watch movie!
all in the name of super junior.
hahahah,
not exactly lah, but got sorry sorry in it.
haha!~
ashley and me went hyper.
LOL.

06 MARCH 2010
worked at cj i think, half day only. haha
omg then i went to have STEAMBOAT BUFFET WITH MAD PEOPLE.
hahaha, we just kept laughing and laughing.
and eating and eating.
it was fun.
LOL.
then i rushed off to get to amk.
lucky matthew was ncie to share cab.
omg he paid majority of the cab fare leh...
then i find yijun, met my sister and we proceeded to crash ashley house.
AT 12 AM
*without knowing where she stay, exactly. LOL*
damn dumb i dun care. LOL
joyce join us later.
then
ASHLEY DAMN EPIC.
shall not throw her face here.
LOL.
omg hahahahha.

07 MARCH 2010
met ashley for dinner then we sit sit talk talk until very late
then go home.
i miss f&c.
and i really feel like going back.
haha, we sat at herwan station,
then peter kept kajiaoing us.
greeter alrd can recognize me.
LOL.
omg we famous liao.
hahaha.
ASHLEY SHALL FIND A GREAT BEST BOYFRIEND (:

08 MARCH 2010
day off today, spent today doing work and accompanying mother to places. lol.
09 MARCH 2010
work today at centrepoint. 10 mar also.
11 MARCH 2010
day off again.
12 MARCH 2010 to 17 MARCH 2010
work at raffles city and centre point
hha, almost everyday i got people to accompany me.
except today, but i walked around wasting time, AND I BOUGHT TOAST BOX :D
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, been wanting to eat kaya toast for ages alrd.
i think i shld marry the chef working in toast box or yakun or smth.
then i can eat the kaya toast for free everyday.
hahahaha!
I LOVE KAYA TOAST!! :D :D :D

i'm super touched by ALIEN AND ASHLEY (:
♥
alien smsed me and asked if want meet after work. she finish at 10pm, that means that we would meet only at 10.30 and she would have to wait for me for like half hour plus? and she waited!! and we ate ice kachang hahha, and went home after that (: and she encouraged me through all this, THANKS! ((:

ashley keep wanting to accompany me for meals during my break but it's forever raining. hahah. and finally one day it did not rain! so she came down!! haha, it's really touching because she come down from amk for just less than one hour and i need to go back alrd. then her journey is quite long. *sniffs* and she also encouraged me through all this shit (((: THANK YOU

oh and one thing. i'm sick and tired of mending anything broken so i shan't bother from now.

Cleo, dedicated to Blackie.

i think studying is good.

and so is reading.

it keeps your mind off things for that instant.

but the after effects are huge.

somehow or other,

picking up 'Cleo' was one of the hardest decision i ever made.

but no, i don't think i regret this decision.

granted, i closed the book several times,

not because it wasn't nice to read,

not because i was too busy.

it was a nice book to read,

but reading it was hard.

it was as if i knew it had the answer to whatever i wanted,

but dreaded finding out how am i supposed to do it.

i can't exactly find out the answer i wanted,

but there was a perspective i was given at the end of the book.

i knew i would cry, i knew i would take time,

but a voice inside me said 'go for it'.

as much as i wanted to stop reading the book,

the emotions were real,

they were all facing me,

and for a moment,

i thought i saw myself in the book.

when the end reached,

i started to wonder.

if blackie had left in a more complete manner,

would i be more comforted?

leaving broken little pieces around when she left,

it would be a wonder if i actually feel whole.

the difference then and now is hardly visible.

and i wonder if i ever walked out of it.

i'm only human,

i tend to compare.

i know deep inside that if sparky were to leave me one day,

i wouldn't be as upset,

i wouldn't go into a state of depression for whoever knows how long.

i love sparky all the same,

i would miss her too,

but it's different.

blackie was so young.

the words that my dad said then just replayed in my head,

over and over again.

up till today,

the memory of my dad saying that sentence still comes back to me like he had just said it moments ago.

i woke up at the time she left,

for the first time in my 17 years then,

i woke up in the middle of the night.

maybe there were other times,

but it was because of nightmares,

but i clearly remembered that morning.

i woke up for no reason.

i should have woken up then,

but i went back to sleep because it was still dark outside.

but time is not for us to turn back,

and yesterday is something that is gone forever.

everybody wants the rainbow,

but you do need a little rain to see one rainbow.

and maybe when i finish the 'book of tomorrow',

i can finally embrace my future.

#210

this blog is so dead. im super sian to update my blog lately.
maybe for a hidden reason. hmmmm.

time flies,
like seriously,
i was just preparing for common tests, then suddenly it was exams, and now, internship.
gosh i sound like some old woman.
-.-
and i'm only 18.
i can't imagine when i'm REALLY an old woman...
sigh.

anw~~
10 FEB 2010 to 25 FEB 2010
SPENT STUDYING AND HAVING EXAMS.
hahaha
omgosh.
so long period of time and i concluded it in a statement.
i had so many study partners this time round,
totally different from the past, where i either studied alone or with just one friend.
and now i'm wondering what will happen when i am put in one corner alone again...
this exam, i went back to school alot of times, went to bishan lib many times too, hardly went to amk lib, AND STUDIED OVERNIGHT AT SERANGOON MAC!
i only dozed off a few times LOL.

i studied with: ashley, casslynn (ashley friend), LY, lynn, phoebe (also ashley friend), wenyi, yijun, yoketeng

so cool can! i make new friends even when there are exams.
LOL.
who says studying kills social life.
wait, i think its me. haha!
i dun care~~

on the 21st, i went to uncle's house for housewarming party or sort of.
omg, alvin and michael is so cute. LOL. (:

anw, on the 25th, we went to the zoo after IEF paper!
so cool.
:D
i like otters, and polar bears, and the sun bears, and the many many many more. :D :D
must thank janice for her 4 free tickets.
heh heh =))

26 FEB 2010
damn sick, hate it. ):
but i made pineapple tarts lol.
1st time one was better! ):

27 FEB 2010
went to yt hse after meeting yijun at centrepoint~~
played mahjong,
LOL.
now i want play viwawa~~

28 FEB 2010
i went to pei sister to buy her stuff and she pei me to buy my stuff.
we saw ZHANG YAO DONG.
(:
SHUAI on tv, even more shuai in real life. haha!
i think i will like my internship. LOL

it's been ages since i blogged. can i blog tmr? (:

#209

to those people out there who know i am talking to them: i love you guys! ♥
and no, i wont reply tags regarding this message. (:

31 JANUARY 2010
its sunday.
i always do the same thing on sunday right.
haha! (:

01 FEBRUARY 2010
i rmb today i rmb today,
i will keep remembering today till the end of the world!
-.-
just joking.
abit of exaggeration here lah.
but i will remember today! (:
today is good good good good good day!
=D

02 FEBRUARY 2010
i cant rmb what happened today.
ahaha, cant blame me!
its like so long ago already!

03 FEBRUARY 2010
there was no lecture today,
hmmmm.
only IEF tutorial.
hahahah.
then we went to dabao subway to lib to eat and study,
i was hiding in one corner so that i can eat my bread in peace.
then i kena called emo.
just when i ate finish,
jerry came in.
LOL.
i thought it was the library auntie/uncle.
*i should stop watching super junior even if its my therapy.* :(

04 FEBRUARY 2010
no school today (actually)
but then there was internship briefing at 5pm.
real bummer.
because i met JO (finally!)
we went to eat at fish and co AMK.
heh heh.
i really miss JO!!!
and now jo has gone back to aust le ):
i shall go aust when i can.
i alrd got sponsor le.
lol.
and after internship briefing, we went to amk...
to eat fish and co (again)
lol.
the server told me i look familiar.
OF COURSE.
-.-
i worked there before,
and i went there in the afternoon.

05 FEBRUARY 2010
today is a depressing day okay.
dun bother asking me why.
):
it's just international black day.
and so,
we went to eat prata.
and then went to play pool.
my skills are horrendous,
really.):
even when LY was teaching me very patiently.
ern where u go sia. ))):
i cant rmb if it is today or what,
we went to watch odd girl out before proceeding to study,
its quite a good show ehs.
really.
ahah.

06 FEBRUARY 2010
meet Y at amk lib,
then L came to join us,
and finally A came to join us. (=
there are some things which i feel shouldn't be mentioned here.
=X
sorry.
headed to town and then home!
BALI THAI IS HORRENDOUS BTW.

07 FEBRUARY 2010
went to bishan lib with A and Y today.
:D
A's friend joined us halfway,
woohoo!!
had dinner with family after studying session.
i had fun doing non-tariff barriers tutorial discussion qns. -.-
am i sick?
YES.

08 FEBRUARY 2010
went to school at 9 plus.
HUGE jam.
then we went to watch BRIDE WARS
i'm reminded of somebody.
haha,
nice show btw.
i have been watching shows instead of studying.
good good. LOL

09 FEBRUARY 2010
went to school today.
but im home early.
there was AAA tutorial.
=X
gosh i'm so tired and i think i am falling sick!

tag reply

to: so and so whom i dk and stumbled into my blog. (AKA HShore)
when i saw your comment, i was wondering. am i going to get into a blog war? and honestly, i didn't want to reply, till i saw the words "shameful", and then "ignorant" and finally of you accusing us of 'trashing' people with special needs.
well, you probably stumbled across my blog by accident and won't stumble across it again by any other chances because you were probably offended with the post but i still feel the need to clear my friend(s)' and my name.


1. you could have left your big name there if you wanted to reprimand somebody. at least give some credit to yourself for being so big hearted. the world probably needs more compassionate people like you. then maybe, world peace would be possible.


2. well, lets move on to talk about the topic of retardedness.


notice that my conversation with this friend of mine mentioned words like "retarded" and "retardedness" and not mentally retarded? well, as much as you presumed we were (in your context) making fun of people with special needs, i would presume you were talking about in this case, mentally retarded people. mentally retarded is the word to describe people with special needs. we didn't use this word. i believe people i know, inclusive of myself, would not make fun of this group of people in any way.


and no, i am not saying anyone in particular, but humans, (me inclusive), jump into conclusions easily and don't read properly. I, for one, didn't read your comment properly at first. it was only when i saw the word shameful that i decided to read the post again, to discover the word ignorant. u jumped into conclusions that we were making fun of people with special needs.


no, i am not boasting. but just to mention one, i would even give $2 to an old man, whom i know is financially stable with his kids giving him money each month and that he would spend away the money i give him on gambling, just because he asked. so what makes you think that i would not sympathize with people with special needs? in fact, i look up to them, especially those who overcome their special needs and come out to the society to work. just because we talked about me being retarded, you were so quick to judge us and labelled us "ignorant" and "shameful". oooh boy, just where were you when i go into a bad mood for the whole day just because i saw someone who was less fortunate (people with special needs, elderly) than me working hard.


it is this group of people who remind us constantly how lucky we are, if you would put it that way. it is this group of people who remind us constantly how we should not take life for granted. Why on earth would i look down on them.


if you would take the liberty to look up the dictionary online,


re⋅tard  /rɪˈtɑrd, for 1–3, 5; ˈritɑrd for 4/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4] Show IPA
–verb (used with object) 1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.


–verb (used without object) 2. to be delayed.


–noun 3. a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.
4. Slang: Disparaging. a. a mentally retarded person.
b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.


5. Automotive, Machinery. an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle.


or if you would use wikepedia, the definition would be:


Retardation is the act or result of delaying; the extent to which anything is retarded or delayed; that which retards or delays
and in our context of course, 'retarded' was a replacement word for 'slow'
no, you didn't have to understand it, we were speaking in our terms.
it was fine as long as WE understood it.
but this did not stand the moment you left labels on us.


so why did my friend(S) call me retarded?
because i react slow most of the time, as i always zone out.


among all their friends, i am the one who react slowest to their actions and words.
is that wrong to describe me?


is my friend wrong to give this award to me? (not that i want it, not that it exists anyway)
my friends call me this name and i am fine with it because to a certain extent, i AM indeed slow in reacting to their actions and words.
however, i would certainly take offence when you have labelled my friend(s) who called me retarded and me ignorant and shameful.


in what way were we being ignorant and shameful, in this case?
i know the definition of 'retarded'.
he (in this case) also knew the definition of 'retarded'
so in what way were we being ignorant may i ask?


next, the word 'shameful'
since i have already checked up the first few words, i might as well check up this one too.




shame⋅ful  /ˈʃeɪmfəl/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [sheym-fuhl] Show IPA
Use shameful in a Sentence
See images of shameful
Search shameful on the Web
–adjective 1. causing shame: shameful behavior.
2. disgraceful or scandalous: shameful treatment.



why on earth did you call us shameful?!
this is definitely something i cannot comprehend.
in MY context, people are only called shameful when they have done something disgraceful and still stick to their stand.
what disgraceful thing have my friend and i done in this case?


Lastly, we DID not trash people with special needs. i do not look down on them, neither do i see them as useless people.






and if you do happen to stumble again and leave a comment, please, leave your name. i believe this is the basic respect that anyone should be given when there is any form of communication.

ke wu de ern

actl i already blogged.
but
i have to blog again, cos of this fren of mine
actl, he's not really a friend.
i think he is more of a monster.
or alien?
or vampire?
haha!

his fault, he called me names first ):

at first, i thought he was nice, cos he gave me a lollie.

but then....
he called me names.
okay maybe this time i started first.
but he usually is the one who starts it first.
and cos he was appearing offline talking to me,
i asked him why.
then it became "he's not talking to me"
when he suddenly online,
he act blur with me.
say he never talk to me.


XiaoPei, the Random. hoooo ief says (11:09 PM): LOL, EEE YOU. super mean can. just now u talked to me on msn lor, when u were offline
[c=10]Siang Ern[/c] says (11:10 PM): huh?
[c=10]Siang Ern[/c] says (11:11 PM): HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHASHAAHAAHAHAHAH
=P
juz kidding
XiaoPei, the Random. hoooo ief says (11:11 PM): u are mean
*kick you*
cannot dodge!
[c=10]Siang Ern[/c] says (11:11 PM): *ouch*
XiaoPei, the Random. hoooo ief says (11:11 PM): :D
[c=10]Siang Ern[/c] says (11:11 PM): =\
so mean
XiaoPei, the Random. hoooo ief says (11:12 PM): awww
pain ah
hahahaha!
[c=10]Siang Ern[/c] says (11:13 PM): sadist =[
XiaoPei, the Random. hoooo ief says (11:14 PM): wo zhi dao cuo le
[c=10]Siang Ern[/c] says (11:18 PM): haha
glad u noe
XiaoPei, the Random. hoooo ief says (11:20 PM): do i get a reward?
LOL
[c=10]Siang Ern[/c] says (11:22 PM): no
wad reward u wan??
[c=10]Siang Ern[/c] says (11:23 PM): most retarded person reward?
=d
XiaoPei, the Random. hoooo ief says (11:23 PM): ooi
call me retarded
who tell u im retarded

[c=10]Siang Ern[/c] says (11:24 PM): erm
yr actions lor
=p
=p=p=p
XiaoPei, the Random. hoooo ief says (11:26 PM): u mean monster!
alien
or vampire
lol
[c=10]Siang Ern[/c] says (11:27 PM): lol
vamipire coz of?
my display pic ar?
XiaoPei, the Random. hoooo ief says (11:27 PM): yes
ahaha!
[c=10]Siang Ern[/c] says (11:27 PM): lol
knew it
simply retardedness
=D

-----------

and so you see,

he is mean.

DEFAMATION COMPLETE! (:

#208

yu loon: you take care of urself too okay! (:
ashley: i knw YOU miss me =)
wenyi: hahaha, tht was just a random fly by thought! i know you need me so i wont die. LOL!
YIANPING: haha, i'm okay alrd. (: i dun need you. but i dun mind sk's treat! LOL

aahh people,
i'm okay~
just lamenting la.
lamenting how come i feel my life taken so lightly.
but thanks for all your concern (:
its nice to knw there are people out there :)
thank you people! (:

25 JANUARY 2010
feelings during start of the week in school was rather mixed.
haha,
you know what i mean if i say smth like
"its like giving you hope and crushing it in your face"
actually i am not really affected by it.
just abit maybe.
i'm talking rubbish.
anw, project after lecture,
and then we went to eat lunch
and i went home! (early for once)
then when i got home, sister said she wanted to go heartland mall.
she said it will be a fast one.
i believed her.
and so,
we went there.
she spent alot of time there can.
then in popular, i dk why i suddenly wanted to read confessions of the shopaholic.
actl i wanted to read it and watch the movie a long time ago,
but i just didnt have it in my bone till i picked up "Cleo"
PS do you know they initially wanted to name "Cleo" "Blackie" too?
and in the end i had to cancel meeting yeesiew at compass point because i knew tht i couldn't make it.
so after telling ys i will meet her online at 10,
i told mum i wanted to eat mini melts. *YUMYUM*
dun talk to me abt price.
i like the ice cream, so i dun care.
okay maybe i do..
but consider the fact that i have not touched ice cream for a long time.
lol.
and i went running with sister after that.
my timing didnt improve.
its still abt 16 min.
i dun exactly like that. ):

26 JANUARY 2010
school finished at 4pm.
all tutorials ended late today.
AAA end late,
SOM also end late.
okay not exactly late,
more like on time.
and i'm super not used to it.
haha!
i went home after school because ly needed to go see doctor~
i dk if it was a jam or what.
i reached home quite late.
initially wanted to go run with sister but then i was tired and i went to sleep instead i think. haha

27 JANUARY 2010
i was abit late for ief tutorial
Result= Miss Koh: "You would have to come up again" something along that line.
and because Ly asked a qn,
she was dragged down too.
haha.
sometimes i wonder, my participation marks would be zero if i were early/on time.
but other times i would hate myself for being late.
i hate being late. lol. im talking rubbish again.
marketing lecture was kinda funny because she was going thru past yr papers and i dk anything abt it. =X
then went to do project after lunch.
met Ly they all for "study session"
and then met ys for last min revision before speaking test!
*shudders*
jap is over :)
prepare for 201.
LOL.

28 JANUARY 2010
No school today!
and so,
met women for mini movie marathon.
oh boy i always wanted to do this!
;D
we watched it's complicated and tooth fairy!!
and maybe sometimes, its okay to dream i realize.
haha!
and so we had astons for lunch and we popped by chinatown for porridge.
nice.
then we walked along chinatown,
and i saw the sparklers thingy.
and we suddenly bought that thing,
and poof!
we were at clarke quay,
and were playing with sparklers,
with people staring at us like we were some weirdos.
-.-

29 JANUARY 2010
school ended after presentation.
haha
super weird to wear formal because its the first time for the whole sem!
went to lib to "study" for awhile,
then headed to canteen 2 for lunch
and then home!
super tired for i dk what reason
and i slept all the way from 9.30 to 10.30
so cool.
i have never done that.

30 JANUARY 2010
its been a long time since i talked to sy.
probably from the time he went into army..
LOL.
why the sudden mention of this person...
cos i was surprised to see him online when he shld be in army.
then i realized it was sat.
haha.
and surprisingly,
he has a good life in the army.
unfair like anything.
and so our msn chat suddenly became a voice call and we spent about an hour talking about food.
he was coughing quite badly
and he came out with this theory
"cough until i can see my six pack"

and i might be mean to say this,
but u deserved it.