walking away

i think this sort of thing often happens to me,
people coming
people leaving.
people coming back again,
without knowing they have left me behind before.

but people,
i'm sick of this.
sick of you guys leaving,
coming back acting as if nth ever happened.

i no longer have the energy to take you back while pretending that things are the same.
i'm not me anymore.
or rather, i'm not the me that used to be so into people around me.
i had this thinking that if i was left alone again,
i would break.
but i didn't.
i stayed whole as i was,
and continued moving on.

sometimes people say that people sometimes walk away to see who will chase after them.
but i guess once your heart hardens,
no matter how far the other chases,
they can't reach out to you.
it's as if you were there,
they can see you,
you can see them,
but they can't feel you,
just like you can't feel them.