#133

i thought i could do it.
i really thought i could.
but.
the moment i saw you guys.
i just wanted to cry.
i didnt want to talk at all.
because i felt like crying.

i have never felt so down before
i noe its my fault.
i should have just said i wanted to study my jap.
now its really over.
i always ranked jap over project.
its so important to me that i am now
so sad.

i didnt mean to keep quiet
but
i felt like crying many times over.
i lost the sense of speech.

i.
never thought there was something
worth my fighting for.
till jap came along.
i pinned my hopes on the jap trip.
but to go t the trip
you have to get a B and above.
jap is getting tougher.
its no use crying over spilt milk.
but i still want to cry.
i am so drained.
so very drained.
and yet.
i cant do anything .
i wont do well for speaking test.
tht is for sure.

i dont want to give up.
but.
circumstances are pushing me to the edge.
and im already on the verge.